Busy Nothings

Breaking Dawn Part 1-- The Review

2011-11-22T10:44:00.000-08:00

Or, "Watching a squirrel you always thought was one nut short of a tree get hit by a car... and then have a baby vampire ripped out of her."

Any review of the latest film adaptation of the Twilight Saga requires a brief nod to the book. Breaking Dawn is sometimes my favorite and sometimes my least favorite of the series. It depends on my mood. There are several elements of the book that I don't enjoy, such as the entire middle section narrated by Jacob. For my feelings about Jacob/Bella (Jella?), see this post. I'm also not a fan of Edward as the burning man. Seriously, dude; you need to stop with the self-flagellation.However, there are some fantastic scenes and elements in the book:

--Isle Esme
--Broken spine/spewing fountain of blood/vampire cesarean
--Stone cottage and a NEW first time. ;)
--Bella/Emmett banter
--Rosalie/Jacob banter
--Did I mention Isle Esme and the cottage? Just checking.
--Meeting the other vampires
--Bella FINALLY TAKING CONTROL OF HER LIFE (J. Jenks, embracing motherhood, saving the entire vegetarian vampire population)
--There are also some wicked awesome scenes on an island and in a cottage.

There were two major questions: How will Rosenberg/Condon adapt some of the more difficult novel elements (wolf telepathy, Bella's interpretation of Isle Esme, etc.), AND where will the film end?

I had thought the film would end right after Bella reaches for the dropped cup of blood and starts vomiting a fountain of blood from her mouth. My friend Maggie Parke thought it would end after the transformation. She was right. And it was perfect.

Now for the review:

SCORE: Carter Burwell wrote this score. He also did the score for Twilight. It's not my favorite--that distinction goes to Alexandre Desplat's score for Eclipse-- but I will give him credit for one very important piece. The music that plays during Bella's vampire transformation is brilliant. More on this later.

SOUNDTRACK: Genius. Love it all. Buy it now and listen on repeat.

A NOTE ON COLOR: Red is leeched from the screen over the course of the film, so that when Bella finally drinks blood and is later filleted, the red really stands out. Watch for it. After the wedding nightmare in the first 10 minutes, red starts to disappear and is only used in key places-- the chess set on Isle Esme, a vase in the background when Edward hears Renesmee's voice, the blood smoothie, and the birthing table. All the major characters wear BLUE, a stark contrast.

CG: Holy computer graphics, Batman. I was completely blown away by the work on Stewart's body. I couldn't even imagine her slow descent into living death that well.

FAVORITE BITS:
--Charlie and Renee commenting on the graduation caps. Cute!
--Bella walking down the aisle: That chick is terrified. Which is appropriate. She's not just getting married; she's adopting an entirely new life, one where her family and friends can not join her. Great job to the music geniuses for that song pick ("Turning Page" by Sleeping at Last). The way it picks up pace just as Bella sees Edward-Oh-My-Goodness-So-Hot-In-A-Tux at the altar mirrors Meyer's text. Bella says, "Suddenly, it was only the pressure of Charlie's hand on mine that kept me from sprinting headlong down the aisle." You and me both, Bella.
--The wedding speeches. Maggie disagrees, but I thought they were a nice comic relief and a reminder of the ties that Bella has to all of those people.
--Bella tearing up as she dances with Jacob. 10 points, Stewart.
--The music playing over the trip from the wedding to the honeymoon.
--Isle Esme: Just about bang-on what I saw when I read, from the moonlight swim to covered-in-feather, to "Carlisle will get that thing out of you."
--I also loved the inclusion of the chessboard as Bella's bargaining chip for sex.
--Bella's pre-swim freakout.
--Bella's quiet moment as she realized, "Yes, I'm actually pregnant" on Isle Esme. Another 10 points to Stewart, plus a gold star for the background music, Imperial Mammoth's "Requiem on Water."
--Bella and Edward talk to Renesmee. How cute were they!?

FAVORITE SCENE:
The best scene for me, without a doubt, is the end when Bella finally codes and Edward tries to keep her heart pumping. She really looks dead. Like, REALLY dead. And Edward just doesn’t see it. Really, from when she drops the cup. From then on, it just gets really visceral for me. And I’m glad they didn’t shy away from that. I didn’t like seeing Bella’s bleeding abdomen and her Holocaust-survivor body sprawled on that cold table like a slab of three-day old discount meat, but I appreciated that it was shown. It may not have been fun to watch, but it made it real to me. And, let’s face it, life with vampires isn’t always sparkly skin and awesome sex. It’s horror and death, wrapped in a dazzling package. Edward has been warning us of this truth from the very beginning; we just didn’t want to accept it.

LEAST FAVORITE BITS:
--Jacob standing up to Sam
--The corny music in the beginning and just getting to the wedding.
--The CG of Renesmee's face at the end looked a little cartoonish to me, but I can appreciate what they were trying to accomplish.

Quick side note: Do you remember that horrific moment in Twilight where Bella is in the hospital bed and she freaks out because Edward says he’s going to leave her and then she starts sputtering “What? No! No! You ca- I don’t—What are you—You can’t—No!” Charlie does the same thing in this movie when he’s talking to Bella.

And finally, a note on the transformation. If you've made it this far, you are a real trooper. Here's what I wrote in an email to a friend:

I remember thinking, as I watched Bella’s body transform—both inside and out—that it was playing out like a delicate ballet. Even the music is reminiscent of a dance. I thought it was beautiful, and maybe it subconsciously connected a few things for me that I’m just now able to interpret: As a child, she struggled to fit in, and we see that in that home movie of her ballet recital. She “doesn’t dance” as she tells Edward in Twilight, and he sort of takes control and does her dancing for her (in his bedroom and at the prom). At her wedding, Jacob does something similar.

But this dance, Bella must do alone. And despite her imperfections, her frailties, her humanness, she allows her love for Edward and Jacob and the daughter she only briefly knew to be her motivation. She stumbled through for weeks, barely able to keep her toes beneath her, weighted down by this love, and yet carrying on in service to it. And now, she is unencumbered, free. The music crescendos as she wills her body to perform.

And perform she does.

And just when her audience, intent on every step and leap, believes her marathon routine is nearing its finale, the curtain drops. And they are left wondering: Has she succeeded?

There is no Team Jacob

2011-11-21T15:17:00.000-08:00

UPDATE: Here's a synopsis--
In 2008, I conducted a poll of over 10,000 Twilight fans through TwilightLexicon.com asking them to decide who they believe is the best match for Bella. Nearly 25 percent of respondents were either undecided or believed that Bella should have ended up with Jacob instead of Edward. What none of Team Jacob—and few of Team Edward—realize is that whatever romantic affection Bella and Jacob felt for each other was artificial: the result of hormones mixing with the gravitational pull of imprinting. Jacob did not imprint on Bella, but he did imprint on her daughter and the fact that Bella carries one half of Renesmee’s DNA is the driving force behind the attraction Jacob and Bella feel for each other from day one. This paper explores the nature of imprinting and then argues that the attraction between Bella and Jacob is not only voided in Breaking Dawn, but was always the result of the fact that Bella is Renesmee’s mother.
------

In July 2009, I presented a paper at TwiCon in Dallas. As time was short (the speakers before me had gone WAY over), I had to condense my 20-minute presentation into 7 minutes. I basically threw out the paper and spoke from the heart, which turned out to be just what the audience needed.

It was a controversial topic. The title of my presentation was "There is no Team Jacob." Here's the intro (just so you can hear the crowd reaction):

In light of the release of Breaking Dawn Part 1, the film, I thought it was finally time to release the paper to run free on the Internets, and hopefully spawn some interesting discussion. As it is SUPER lengthy (remember, I had planned for a 20-minute speech), I didn't want to include it in this post. Instead, you can CLICK HERE to read it. Enjoy!

NaNoWriMo 2011

2011-11-02T15:45:00.000-07:00

November is National Novel Writing Month! Woohoo! I'll be completely out of my mind stressed this month, so don't expect any blog posts. Unless I'm procrastinating writing my 1,677 words per day. In which case, expect lots of blog posts.
Here's a previous post I wrote about the craziness that is NaNoWriMo:
http://abenningsbusynothings.blogspot.com/2009/09/nanowrimo.html

Let the writing begin!

A New School Year: An Online Teacher's Perspective

2011-09-29T11:44:00.000-07:00

Last year, I started working for an online education provider. At first, I worked as a part-timer, clocking anywhere from 2-15 hours per week. In April, I went full-time. October will mark my one-year anniversary at this company, and my 6-month anniversary as a full-time teacher for them. In honor of the occasion, and because it's been on my mind lately, I thought I'd give a little overview of what exactly it is an online teacher does (and doesn't do).*

1. We do not come up with the curriculum... for the most part. All of the curriculum is already available online. Students work at their own pace or according to a pacing schedule (depending on their needs). They read the content, play online games, perform web quests, and watch videos that have already been created for them.

2. We DO enhance the pre-packaged curriculum with our own helpful resources. In my courses, I have a FAQ/Resources tab where students can watch tutorials I've created, download helpful documents, and visit outside links that supplement the course content.

3. We do not sit in front of a webcam all day with a chalkboard behind us. Most of my teaching is asynchronous: a student asks a question via email, I answer it a few hours later; a student turns in an assignment, I grade it within the next day or two; etc.

4. We DO meet with students online in a synchronous virtual classroom for office hours, to offer one-on-one support, and for weekly help sessions. These are optional for the students, but I am there just in case (sans webcam). We communicate via microphone and chat window.

Some myths:

The online environment is too impersonal. Absolutely not! I create new welcome banners, announcements, and resources on a daily basis. I have control over the colors of the buttons and their shape. My staff info page is inviting (see below), and I've also included a way for my students to instant message me straight from the course. I even included a teacher blog within the course, where I post funny English YouTube videos, reviews of great books, and humorous grammar errors.

Online teaching isn't real teaching. This is a semi-myth. It's true that I don't come up with the curriculum or day-to-day lesson plans, but I do get to know my students and do a lot of on-on-one guidance. And I teach mini-lessons weekly, going over major concepts or clarifying assignment requirements. While I do miss lesson planning and the thrill of seeing students' eyes light up when we discuss literature, I don't miss taking home hours of grading every night and waking up at the crack of dawn to prep.
Online teaching is easier than brick-and-mortar teaching. I have 200 students and I teach 8 different courses, 4 of which are A.P. I have to know these courses intimately, have read all the assigned texts, and could lose a course or gain a new course with as little as 24-hours of warning. Over the summer--when enrollments are very high and students are cramming semester-length courses into a matter of weeks-- I had a daily grading queue of approximately 200 assignments. True, I got to work from my home office in my pajamas, but easy? I think not.
Online students are home-schoolers. This could not be farther from the truth. The majority of my students go to a brick-and-mortar school during the day and are taking my courses either to make up credits due to poor grades the previous semester, or are trying to get ahead. I have one student who travels the world playing the violin, is being actively recruited by several universities, and is taking several online AP courses to supplement his brick-and-mortar schedule.
Online school is (pick one): the way of the future/never going to last: From my experience this past year, I've learned that online education is definitely not suffering. Our company had over 100,000 enrollments this year, for example. However, I don't think online education is going to become the only education option in the future. I've found that the most successful students are those who have support from both their online teacher (me) and their school-site mentors/counselors. In my opinion, the most successful schools in the future will be hybrids, offering a mixture of on-site and online lessons.

Here's my course banner for October. Can't wait for my students to see it!

*This is only applicable to my company. There are many online education providers, and they all operate differently. Of course, none of the other companies as is AWESOME as mine, but I digress...

How shoelaces are like my writing process

2011-08-18T07:59:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago, I sat down to write this blog post and realized I wrote a similar one almost exactly one year ago. I'm taking this as portent of a second finished book in my future.

Let me set the stage for you: It is a warm summer's evening in Calabasas, CA. A young writer is seated at the local Starbucks, earbuds in place, laptop open, staring at the work she has written thus far. A good start for an evening of writing, yes? The only problem is that the past three months have not been productive--as far as writing is concerned-- and she feels estranged from the manuscript. She skims through the most recent chapter and realizes she and the characters haven't spoken in weeks. She had thrown them into a crisis, and then casually walked out of their lives, leaving them to fend for themselves.

Now, they were not speaking to her.

She nursed a creamy hot chocolate as she tried to make sense of the tangle the characters had created in her absence. Characters who used to love each other were now giving each other the cold shoulder; locations that were once safe were now menacing; story threads that were alive and vibrant were now rotting corpses.

We're going to need a bigger hot chocolate, the writer thought.

But instead of ordering up another grande with cream, she packed up and went to Kinko's, where she printed the 30,000 mischievous words in manuscript form. And then she set about re-initiating herself into her characters' lives. As she read, she found herself saying, "I'm so sorry, Charlie, I had forgotten that happened to you. No wonder you are angry." Or, "That's completely irrational; the Evelyn I know would never have done that. You need to apologize." By the 30,000th word, the characters had welcomed the writer back into their world.

Which is a good thing, too, because this writer was starting to doubt her sanity. Is it normal for a writer to need to re-read the story she came up with in order to make sense of it? I felt like such a failure, until I remembered my last novel. I must have printed 5 versions of that manuscript along the way, not counting the 7 drafts I completed once the story was completely on paper.

To me, writing is a lot like tying shoelaces. When I outline, I poke the holes through which the laces will thread. If I don't poke enough of them, there's nothing for the laces to grab onto, and the reader will fall out of the story-- I mean, the foot will fall out of the shoe. If there are too many holes, the foot will lose circulation, and the reader will feel overwhelmed by plot.

Once I've outlined, I begin threading the laces, hitting each plot point along the way. But every so often, I notice that the laces are too loose, or too tight, and I have to go back and readjust. This time, that happened at the 30,000 word mark. It will probably happen again in a few weeks, and again when I've laced through the final hole. Then I'll tighten and loosen until I'm sure the reader won't fall out or suffer from pins and needles. Finally, I'll tie it into a little bow, and send it on it's way into the world.

Agent Kate Testerman (aka Daphne Unfeasible) uses shoes as her avatars and in her blog posts. I think that's appropriate. As an agent, she tries on dozens of shoes a day in her slushpile. When an author queries, she's basically saying, "Here's this shoe I've created. It's just my style and size. Does it fit you too?" When the author finds an agent with the same foot size and style preferences, they pair up and raid each others' closets.

Have you ever had someone else tie your shoes for you? Afterward, your shoe feels alien. The wrong bits are tight, the wrong bits are loose, your skin is pinched, the knot is off to the side... For me, that's what it's like to have others critique my drafts. I think, THAT's what you wanted emphasized? But, that part is not nearly as interesting as THIS PART. Are you sure? Ok.... And then I incorporate those suggestions--when I agree, of course. And then the story feels... off for a bit. So I do my own round of revisions after all the reader feedback. I make sure I'm the person to tie the knot, so the shoe feels right to me. After all, I picked out the color and style, it's made to fit my foot. If it fits on anyone else's foot, that's a bonus.

Atlas Shrugged: Part 3

2011-08-02T15:53:00.000-07:00

A is A

Finally! Here's the last post on Atlas Shrugged. So sorry for the delay (as if any of you actually cared), but the past month has been CRAZY. At one point, I had 250 students. I'm down to a reasonable number now, and can finally breathe.

For the record, I did finish the novel early by a few days. So, if any of you are thinking the book is just too big an undertaking, know that it can be done.

On to analysis! Spoilers ahead!!!

This part of the novel opens with Dagny in Atlantis, under the watchful eye of THE John Galt. I was starting to wonder if we were ever actually going to meet this man, and I'm conflicted about whether or not I'm satisfied with who he turned out to be. On the one hand, I'm pleased that he is, in fact, just a man. On the other hand, I liked having him as an icon. Bruce Wayne said this in Batman Begins: As a man, I'm flesh and blood. I can be ignored, I can be destroyed. But as a symbol … as a symbol, I can be incorruptible. I can be everlasting.

That's my issue with John Galt, the man. But, then again, there's something to be said for showing that anyone can start a revolution. Even a guy who speaks to the nation for a full 3 hours.

Seriously, Galt. Three hours? You should have taken a red pen to that speech before you got on the air.

This part of the novel is also where we see relationships and businesses crumble. It's especially interesting to read this section in light of the recent issues with the debt ceiling and our budget. Think of all the people demanding that OTHERS pay, that OTHERS provide. "I have a right to free services!" Galt says," They proclaim that every man born is entitled to exist without labor and, the laws of reality to the contrary notwithstanding, is entitled to receive his 'minimum sustenance'--his food, his clothes, his shelter--with no effort on his part, as his due and his birthright. To receive it--form whom?...Did you wonder what is wrong with the world? You are now seeign the climax of the creed of the uncaused and unearned."

Nothing is free.

In a way, I envy the world of Atlas Shrugged. True, that world has years of turmoil and rebuilding ahead of it, but it will--hopefully-- emerge from the wreckage cleansed and improved.

LeakyCon 2011: A love letter to Harry Potter

2011-07-25T11:36:00.000-07:00

As many of you already know, LeakyCon was July 13-18 in Orlando, FL. I worked on the academic programming committee (paper presentations, panels, workshops, lectures, etc.) as well as presenting my own paper and participating in a panel.

That week was life-changing.

Now, I don't mean to say that I've decided to quit my day job and join a wizard rock band or anything. When I say "life-changing," I mean I had a paradigm shift. But first, let me tell you guys exactly what LeakyCon was.

LeakyCon 2011 was the largest Harry Potter convention EVER, with 3,400 attendees all packed into the Royal Pacific Resort at Universal Studios Orlando. It opened with Lit Day on July 13, an entire day dedicated to panels and speeches by young adult authors, agents, publishers, and editors. The day celebrated the genre of which Harry Potter is such an examplar, and focused on energizing new writers. Maureen Johnson, Libba Bray, John Green, Stephanie Perkins, Robin Wasserman, and their agents participated in panels on getting books written and published. There was also the obligatory--and hilarious-- "Let's Talk About Vampires" panel. Other programming included "How Books Saved My Sanity," "Mining your Life for your Fiction," "I was a Teenage Author," and "Books, the Basics."

The high point of the day--for me, at least-- was Arthur Levine's keynote address. Levine is the man responsible for bringing Harry Potter to America; he met with Rowling in Bologna, made an insanely high bid for the books, and then thrust marketing behind them to introduce the American muggles to this magical world. I will be forever grateful to him for that. His keynote theme was hunger, comparing Rowling's hunger as a welfare mom to Harry's malnourishment under the hands of the Dursleys, and our own hunger as readers.

The opening ceremonies followed Levine's keynote, and keeping with the theme of the con (attending school at Hogwarts) was presented as a video yearbook.

Along with programming, which I'll get to in a minute, LeakyCon also included some special events: an exclusive night at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter with free butterbeer, pumpkin juice, and dinner, an early screening of Deathly Hallows Part 2 at the Citiwalk IMAX, a wizard ball, Quidditch, guest appearaces by Ivanna Lynch (Luna Lovegood), Scarlett Byrne (Pansy Parkinson), and the young stars who play the children in DH2, and--a highlight for me-- a morning with Team Starkid. Check out the LeakyCon Tumblr for pics.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Team Starkid, they are a group of performers who met in 2009 at University of Michigan and put on a parody musical of the Harry Potter series. They've followed that up with several other parodies, and Darren Criss, who played Harry Potter in the shows, is now on Glee. Here's some video from my seat, a bit shaky from me laughing (you can also watch the original parody in its entirety on YouTube-- viewer discretion advised):

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter was very fun, but I wish it hadn't been the middle of the night so I could have better seen the details of the park. My favorite ride was Harry's Forbidden Journey, though Jessi and I also enjoyed the big rollercoaster TWICE with no waiting. Gotta love private parties.

I was fortunate enough to participate in a panel discussion on the film adaptation process and resulting changes in Rowling's story. The panel was well-attended (standing room only!), and I think we brought up some interesting ideas. I also presented a paper: Harry and Hermione-- Good Friends in the Books, Better Friends in the movies. Video on both of these presentations will follow in another post.

And, of course, seeing Deathly Hallows Part 2 in a theater with some of the actors and with fellow fans was magical in its own right. There was MUCH sobbing and cheering-- not just by me-- and there was a palpable depression from that moment on that seemed to darken as LeakyCon came to a close. After all, this was the end of an era, the end of our childhoods. Yes, we have Pottermore-- thank goodness!-- but the story has been told, now. It's out in the world, and we've all lived it. Harry Potter was part of my life through high school, the September 11th attacks and subsequent wars, and going away to college. I wrote my Master's thesis on the series, which means I lived and breathed it for a year, memorizing passages, analyzing structure, archetypes, and the genius of Rowling. The series was my introduction to young adult literature, a genre I had completely skipped over during my actual young adult years. I now write young adult literature.

Books like the Harry Potter series have been my Patronus in this world of Dementors. I cannot imagine my life without The Boy Who Lived. Someone recently said to me, "I liked the books and the films, but I don't understand the obsession." For me, it doesn't feel like an obsession (though it may very well be). I'm one of those people who laughs out loud, cries, and spins into emotional highs and lows while reading ANY book. For me, Harry Potter was real, in a sense. The lessons I've learned about friendship, finding one's purpose, defeating one's darkest tendencies, and learning to love were REAL. I know there's no such place as Hogwarts, and I know Voldemort doesn't exist. But I also know that learning IS magical, evil DOES exist, we WILL see our departed loved ones again, and that even girls with unmanageable hair and a fervent love of To Do lists CAN change the world.

To people who say "It's just a book," I will quote Albus Dumbledore:
Of course it's happening in your head... But why on earth should that mean that it isn't real?

Delayed...

2011-07-08T15:45:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the Atlas-sized delay, folks. I've got some great posts planned.... Trust me-- this will be worth the wait.

Atlas Shrugged Read-Along: Part 2

2011-06-09T16:48:00.000-07:00

Either-Or

This post is a few days late as I've been bombarded with preparations for LeakyCon and with getting my 70 new students settled in their online classes. If you're on schedule, you should be well into Part 3 by now. However, this post is just going to deal with Part 2: Either-Or.

Part 1 ended with Ellis Wyatt's middle finger to the world: "I'm leaving it as I found it. Take over. It's yours."

Part 2 is where things REALLY start to fall apart. Genius businessmen around the country have started disappearing at an alarming rate, Taggert Transcontinental is amputating diseased limbs to stay alive, and Rearden Steel is suffocating under regulations and government greed... and James Taggert married a gal from the perfume counter at the five and dime. Wait, did that happen in this section? I can't remember. It's all blurring into one story.

There were some great scenes in this section. I loved Hank's court scene, where he refuses to acknowledge the court's authority to exist. A small snippet (that I really hope doesn't infringe on any copyright laws):

One of the judges, acting as prosecutor, had read the charges. "You may now offer whatever plea you wish to make in your own defense," he announced.
Facing the platform, his voice inflectionless and peculiarly clear, Hank Rearden answered:
"I have no defense."
"Do you--" The judge stumbled; he had not expected it to be that easy. "Do you throw yourself upon the mercy of this court?"
"I do not recognize this court's right to try me."
"What?"
"I don not recognize this court's right to try me."
"But, Mr. Rearden, this is the legally appointed court to try this particular category of crime."
"I do not recognize my action as a crime."
"But you have admitted that you have broken our regulations controlling the sale of your Metal."
"I do not recognize your right to control the sale of my Metal."

That man is a genius. I love him.

Here's another great excerpt, this time from James' discussion with the board:
"There's been enough invented already--enough for everybody's comfort--why should they be allowed to go on inventing? Why should we permit them to blast the ground from under our feet every few steps? Why should we be kept on the go in eternal uncertainty? Just because of a few restless, ambitious adventurers?..They've done nothing but harm, all through history."

I love this whole section (there's plenty more ranting about the suffering inflicted on the world by entrepreneurs) because it reminds me so much of the arguments today about taxing the wealthy. Here's an article which links to other articles on the subject: Can Taxing the Rich Erase the Deficit? I've always had a problem with this idea, even when I was a child. Punishing someone for making more money seems counter-productive to me. Here's a post I did last year on a similar issue.

And Part 2 is where we finally figure out what the title Atlas Shrugged is all about:
"Mr. Rearden," said Fransisco, his voice solemnly calm, "if you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater his effort the heavier the world bore down on his shoulders--what would you tell him to do?"
"I...don't know. What...could he do? What would you tell him?"
"To shrug."

Poor Atlas. I'd tell him to chuck the Earth as far from him as possible, go on vacation, and put a sign in his place: I'm leaving it as I found it.

Dagny is starting to irritate me. I wish she would just follow in Wyatt's footsteps and let Taggert Transcontinental die. I'm also irritated that she seems to still have feelings for Fransisco. As much as I am positive he has deep and true motivations for his actions (I'm sure he's a "good guy") I am also positive that Dagny and Hank belong together. Although I'm not sure Dagny will ever belong with ANYONE if she can't take her beloved railroad and drop it like it's hot. She's got more guts than I; I would just let the whole thing burn, and hope it takes all those lily-livered, hand-wringing, conniving politicians and bleeding-heart liberals down with it.

Part 2 ends with Dagny chasing after the one good thing left in her life: the motor. Of course, that looks like a lost cause too. That poor gal needs to take that little plane and fly to a private island somewhere and just let America fall into the abyss.

Atlas Shrugged Read-Along: Part 1

2011-05-17T12:51:00.000-07:00

Non-Contradiction

If you have been able to keep up with the schedule, you should have finished Part 1 by now. And what a 300 pages it has been! So far, we've met all the major players, learned the ins and outs of the nightmare-world sister of our USA, and watched as romance, political intrigue, and business savvy simultaneously led to the downfall of some characters and the rise of others. I feel bad for the various inhabitants of the stationary bikes next to me at the gym over the past few weeks; I read while I exercise and have more than once slammed the books shut, laughed out loud in incredulity, and almost thrown that brick of a tome across the room.

To an outsider, I must look like a schizophrenic.

But that's the wonder of Rand's work: it's both completely unbelievable and horribly prophetic. The Equalization of Opportunity Bill, for example, hit a little too close to home for me. Is that not what the government did for the auto industry? Is that not the exact path on which our country is currently treading?

There's a great opinion article in the Wall Street Journal from 2009 that I highly recommend reading: "Atlas Shrugged: From Fiction to Fact in 52 Years". In it, Stephen Moore draws parallels between Atlas Shrugged and our current governmental practices. Here's an excerpt:

The current economic strategy is right out of "Atlas Shrugged": The more incompetent you are in business, the more handouts the politicians will bestow on you. That's the justification for the $2 trillion of subsidies doled out already to keep afloat distressed insurance companies, banks, Wall Street investment houses, and auto companies -- while standing next in line for their share of the booty are real-estate developers, the steel industry, chemical companies, airlines, ethanol producers, construction firms and even catfish farmers. With each successive bailout to "calm the markets," another trillion of national wealth is subsequently lost. Yet, as "Atlas" grimly foretold, we now treat the incompetent who wreck their companies as victims, while those resourceful business owners who manage to make a profit are portrayed as recipients of illegitimate "windfalls."

Mr. Lawson would LOVE our current government. After all, he said, "I can proudly say that in all my life I have never made a profit!" When it comes down to it, this book is about THEFT. Theft of ideas, of the right to sink or swim, of the right to make and keep money. Lawson says, "I must point out to you that ...the welfare of the country is my first consideration, to which I would not hesitate to sacrifice anyone's profits."

Part 1 also reminded me of the 2010 and 2008 elections. Do you remember the stigma attached to Mitt Romney, Meg Whitman, and , going back further, John Kerry, because of their wealth? We can't have a president or governor who has MONEY. It's DIRTY. The wealthy are all greedy, selfish humans with no souls, who live to suck prosperity from others to feed their own coffers. Like Midas Mulligan, these individuals, and others like them, "had committed the one unforgivable sin: [they were] proud of their wealth."

And it's this mentality that makes for an anti-self-sufficient society. After all, when the production of wealth becomes taboo, who would dare try? I absolutely loved this line about Dagny:

She could not descend to an existence where her brain would explode under the pressure of forcing itself to outdistance incompetence. She could not function to the rule of: Pipe down--keep down--slow down-- don't do your best, it is not wanted!

Plot-wise, Part 1 set up a number of important story points and left questions for parts 2 and 3:
-- Dagny and Francisco were once lovers, and something has irrevocably changed him. We don't yet know what this change means, but it caused him to lose millions without blinking an eye. Is he making a point? Is he out to destroy the fortunes of others?
--Rearden and Dagny are screwed. Thanks to Washington, and whiny businessmen who can't stand to see another succeed, legislation is choking the steel and rail world. Add to this that tremendous kamikaze act by Wyatt, and it looks as if Rearden Metal and Taggert Transcontinental are in for a slow and painful death. Oh wait! There's that Deus ex Machina motor they found in Wisconsin. I wonder what will happen with that. Even if they find a way to recreate it, the government will probably just steal it or murder it with restrictions.
--Wyatt is my hero. But where the heck is he!?
--WHO IS JOHN GALT? I swear, that dude is real.
--Who is the third student? Hm... Wonder if this question goes with my previous one.

Any thoughts about Part 1?

Atlas Shrugged Read-Along: Week 1

2011-05-09T14:50:00.000-07:00

I am LOVING Atlas Shrugged. I'm amazed at Rand's control of the English language, considering she was born and raised in Russia.

For our first discussion, let's talk characters. Who do you love? Who do you hate?

Dagny rocks my socks. Rand manages to paint her singularly motivated by capitalistic impulses, yet also gives her a history and multi-faceted personality. She's not a flat character, though she must appear that way to the rest of her world.

Right now, I hate her brother.

How about you?

Who is John Galt?

2011-04-20T13:12:00.000-07:00

THE CHALLENGE:

1. Read Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged over 8 weeks (roughly 150 pages per week, or 22 pages per day)
2. Check into this blog weekly and discuss the reading and cheer on the rest of us. I'll post discussion questions, but you can feel free to post your own questions in the comments.

THE RESULT:
Overall feeling of awesomeness and accomplishment at having read this monster AND carried on an intelligent discussion of it.

THE FINE PRINT:
-- You may listen to the audio book as an alternative to the reading. Some people have long commutes. I get this.
-- You can take it at your own pace. Just know that the blog will be covering 150 pages each week.
-- The conversation will undoubtedly get political. That's OK. Let's just keep a mutual respect thriving in our discussion.

The challenge begins May 1. Are you in?

Here's Mike Wallace's interview with Ayn Rand from 1959:

Here's a trailer for the movie that's already out in limited release:

Working from Home

2011-04-11T21:28:00.000-07:00

About a week ago, I embarked a new adventure: working from home. I teach online high school English and had been clocking part-time hours for the past 6 months while I subbed at the local brick and mortar schools. When my supervisor at my online job offered me a full-time position, it took some serious Gilmore Girls-style pro-and-con-ing to decide if it was the right move.

Why wasn't it an easy decision? The main reason was the pay; online teachers aren't unionized (yet) and salaries reflect a corporate environment rather than a school environment. And, as my company is a national company, I am making the same salary as my peers in Littlestown, Nowhere. Along these same lines, my hours and vacation time mimic the corporate world rather than the teaching world. Goodbye 2-month summer break!

But more than that, I had to seriously decide if online teaching was where I wanted to go. It would mean no face-time with my students, no curriculum development (all the curriculum is already created), no lesson planning, and very little socializing with my peers.

On the other hand, online teaching means not having to take hours of grading home with me every night, not planning lessons until the wee hours of the morning only to have tech explode at the last second, not mustering the energy to stay engaging in front of 40 students for 6 hours... and possibly having evenings free for WRITING.

In the end, I said yes. I decided I was up for a new adventure in a growing company and field. It's my firm belief that hybrid schools are the way of the future, and I'd like to get my feet wet in the online world so I can stay ahead of the curve.

So far, I've been really happy with my decision. My workload has been light for the past week as my advisors have been shifting courses around the department, but it is certain to pick up as seniors start realizing they need to make up their classes ASAP if they want to graduate. And the light workload has given me the opportunity to get to know my courses inside and out, read the required novels (Kite Runner, Secret Life of Bees, The Alchemist), and create some efficiency techniques that are proving effective.

When people hear that I teach online, they always ask what that entails. My day consists of grading assignments, adding and dropping students, posting announcements, answering tech questions about Blackboard, corresponding with school counselors/students/parents, attending occasional professional development seminars (online), holding office hours (one hour per week), and general upkeep of my courses. I'm trying to take my job a bit further and create helpful videos and tutorials for my students, as well as more rubrics and graphic organizers.

I'm not really a TEACHER as much as a FACILITATOR. The content is pre-created, but I ensure the students are progressing through the course and improving as they do so.

Yes, there's a little bit of cabin fever involved. But, I'm learning how to cope with that. Hitting the gym helps, as does taking short breaks every so often to ensure my back doesn't cramp up from sitting in front of the computer for hours. And, of course, having an awesome movie playing as I work doesn't hurt.

In a nutshell: Full-time online teaching rocks! But ask me again in 6 months...

Web 2.0

2011-03-30T21:05:00.000-07:00

Tonight I participated in a discussion about Web 2.0. Our goal for the evening was to figure out how to use Web 2.0 to take over the world. We didn't get that far, but we did have some interesting thoughts:

-- In the stock market, valuation is created when you sell your stock. In thoughts, valuation is earned when you tell someone your idea.
-- By changing our mindset to always assume our ideas will be shared, we automatically try to hone them, make them better. The good ideas will be shared, they will get better with the addition of other brains... the cream will rise to the top.
--With this paradigm in mind, my friend created a website called Learn WITT (Learn With Intention To Teach).http://www.accountingwitt.com/site/Home.html
--Substance/Form: In accounting, we think of things in this format-- If I do this, then I can do this. ex: If I buy this Hummer and wrap it with an advertisement, I can deduct the expense.
Applying this concept to Web 2.0 (online collaboration): What is the substance we want to create, and is the form going to achieve that? How do we achieve substance in Web 2.0? Do 1,000 friends on Facebook=SUBSTANCE?
-- Wikipedia is Latin for "truth." (That was a joke.)

We left off the discussion there, to be contemplated until we can have our next discussion.

My question for you guys is this:
What do you think of Web 2.0? Do you use it? How can it be useful?

Censorship: The Results

2011-03-09T22:51:00.000-08:00

Okay, the results from the censorship poll seem to basically mirror my own thoughts: that there is no definitive answer, and that common sense should prevail whenever possible.

The problem is that common sense never prevails. Ever.

Okay, maybe that's a bit harsh. But, in all honesty, there is some crazy stuff going on in the world when it comes to censorship, age-appropriateness, and the ART of story.

Exhibit A: Huckleberry Finn

Professor Alan Gribben has published a new edition of Huckleberry Finn with "slave" replaced for the "n" word. No joke. USA Today reported that his edited version is for "readers who cannot get past the slur to take in the rest of the book." My question to these people is: Why are you reading it? If you seriously can't get past the use of the "n" word in a book written in the 1800s by a white Southern man, there are going to be plenty of other things in the book you won't be able to get past. Can you handle nudity? Alcoholism? Child abuse?

As far as I'm concerned, the novel is sacrosanct. Thou shalt not alter an author's published work. It's not your work; it's his. If you want a different story, write it yourself.

Exhibit B: The Higher Power of Lucky
It was hard to find this 2007 Newbery-Award winning book in the stacks of many middle school libraries that year. You see, it contains the word "scrotum," and we can't have 12-14 year-olds reading that word, even if the book is about a young girl trying to find a "higher power" to help her through life's trials. For those who aren't familiar with the plot, here's a review from Booklist:

Lucky, age 10, lives in tiny Hard Pan, California (population 43), with her dog and the young French woman who is her guardian. With a personality that may remind some readers of Ramona Quimby, Lucky, who is totally contemporary, teeters between bravado--gathering insect specimens, scaring away snakes from the laundry--and fear that her guardian will leave her to return to France. Looking for solace, Lucky eavesdrops on the various 12-step meetings held in Hard Pan (of which there are plenty), hoping to suss out a "higher power" that will see her through her difficulties. Her best friend, Lincoln, is a taciturn boy with a fixation for tying knots; another acquaintance, Miles, seems a tiresome pest until Lucky discovers a secret about his mother. Patron's plotting is as tight as her characters are endearing. Lucky is a true heroine, especially because she's not perfect: she does some cowardly things, but she takes pains to put them to rights.

This sounds like a great book. I like me a good sassy-girl-looking-for-meaning-in-life story. Yes, the word "scrotum" appears 6 times. For more reading, here's an editorial from the New York Times.

Exhibit C: Speak
Laurie Halse Anderson's novel, Speak, was in the headlines this past September when an associate professor at Missouri State University claimed the novel was "soft pornography" and should be banned from the high schools were it was being used as a core novel in English classes. Shannon Hale's blog post about this incident is brilliant, but the basic point is that RAPE IS NOT PORNOGRAPHY. Hale writes,

"It's not graphic, it is definitely not designed to titillate. It is honest while being respectful. If someone reads that book and is stimulated by it, then they should SEE A THERAPIST."

In a later post, Hale shared this story of another woman's experience with Speak:

"I remember reading Speak. I had taken a copy out from the library and read it cover to cover. Often, I stop and shut the book when I get to the last page of the story -- but this time I did not. The very last page of the book should have been a blank page, but it was covered in writing. The girls and women who had checked the book out before me had filled it with messages: "This happened to me." "I didn't tell." "I thought he loved me." They told their stories in single sentences. Their rapists and abusers were their boyfriends. Their family members. Strangers. Someone they thought was a good guy but turned out not to be. Or the story they told was not theirs. It was their sister's or friend's. I read that page, and I was filled with sadness that this was the only place they felt safe to use their voice. I went to the internet and grabbed the number for a local sexual assault crisis line and added it to the page. It was the only way I could think of to reach out them."

I could go on forever: Harry Potter book challenges, Twilight taken off the shelves by a rogue librarian in San Diego...

So, what's the conclusion? I'm not sure if there is one, unfortunately. Because here's the rub: While I will fight for the above books to be allowed on a shelf in my public schools, I might not be such an advocate of books like The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, a YA novel that opens with a discussion of masturbation. This book, like Lucky, might very well be an amazing book (in fact, I have heard very good reviews). But, for me, I draw the line at explicit sexual content (and, yes, even a discussion of masturbation).

Would I have the book removed from a school library?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

As a teacher, my job is to not only get facts and ideas into my students' brains, but also to teach them HOW to learn, and which learning modalities work best for them.

The same idea should be translated to the personal reading process. As parents and teachers (and siblings, and mentors, etc.) we should be encouraging kids to not just READ, but to develop a reading palette. Will it kill a kid to pick up Part-Time Indian? No. Especially if that kid can read that page (or sentence) and then make a decision to put the book back on the shelf. Sure, some kids will read it. But preserving the process of discovering your own reading tastes is far more important than sterilizing our libraries.

Of course, there will be exceptions to every rule. And, of course, we shouldn't have Playboy in our middle schools. And, of course, public libraries are funded with tax dollars and should, therefore, reflect the public's views. A great idea that I've seen gaining popularity is to institute a book rating system similar to the one the MPAA uses for films.

For now, how about if we just stick to this motto: Let common sense prevail.

Censorship: A Poll

2011-03-06T21:56:00.000-08:00

I'm in the process of formulating a post in response to a friend's recent comments on censorship, and I wanted to get a better idea of the general thought on the following. If you have a few seconds, I'd really appreciate your help with this poll. You can choose more than one answer.

surveys & polls

What's Ashley Reading: Lincoln Edition

2011-03-06T15:00:00.000-08:00

My latest read took me out of the realm of YA (where I've been hiding and feeling awfully cozy) into the harsh realities of medical life during the Civil War. My Name is Mary Sutter, by Robin Oliveira, is a historical fiction about a young midwife who longs to become a surgeon. From Publishers Weekly:

The Civil War offers a 20-year-old midwife who dreams of becoming a doctor the medical experience she craves, plus hard work and heartbreak, in this rich debut that takes readers from a small upstate New York doctor's office to a Union hospital overflowing with the wounded and dying. Though she's too young for the nursing corps, Mary Sutter goes to Washington, anyway, and, after a chance meeting with a presidential secretary, is led to the Union Hotel Hospital, where she assists chief surgeon William Stipp and becomes so integral to Stipp's work she ignores her mother's pleas to return home to deliver her sister's baby. From a variety of perspectives—Mary, Stipp, their families, and social, political, and military leaders—the novel offers readers a picture of a time of medical hardship, crisis, and opportunity. Oliveira depicts the amputation of a leg, the delivery of a baby, and soldierly life; these are among the fine details that set this novel above the gauzier variety of Civil War fiction. The focus on often horrific medicine and the women who practiced it against all odds makes for compelling reading.

Horrific is right! I feel like I am now fully qualified to perform leg amputations, having lived through several--in painstaking detail-- with Mary Sutter. I can also deliver babies, saw a woman in half, and tell you the properties of a malarial stool sample. But beyond the medical aspects, which are so organic to the story and desires of the protagonist that they never feel like textbook excerpts, the story is more about the quest of a young woman to fulfill her dreams (and, perhaps, to escape her past).

This story has a bit of everything: romance, historical facts, gory details, superb irony, a protagonist you want to root for, and an ending that satisfies--though silhouetted against deep tragedy. I especially liked the complex relationships: Mary and her mother, Mary and her mentor, Mary and her twin sister, her twin sister's husband, the man who wouldn't teach her... All of these relationships are dynamic and REAL; nothing felt forced or historicized.

The writing is beautiful, full of rich descriptions and meaningful dialogue, but never feeling heavy or self-conscious.

Overall, I'd recommend this book to anyone who can handle a little bit of blood and gore, who can enjoy a headstrong and intelligent female protagonist, and who has a fascination with the Civil War.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

2011-03-05T10:11:00.001-08:00

FYI: I'm playing around with some blog design. The site may be down and/or look really... interesting for the next day or so.

Fight Club and MY Writing Process

2011-02-15T13:23:00.000-08:00

Fight club was on TV this past weekend. I hadn't seen it since college, but it seemed strangely appropriate to my current mental state. For those of you who have never seen this movie, here is a brief synopsis WITH SPOILERS:

Edward Norton is living a boring life revolving around his job as an auto recall analyst, and buying up the entire Ikea catalog. On one of his many business trips, on which he makes "single serving friends," he meets Tyler Durden, a renegade boutique soap maker and master of his own life. Norton is intrigued and, after crazy events involving an exploded apartment and lots of 12-step programs, ends up living with ~~Pitt~~ Durden. They get in a fight one night and realize how liberating punching the crap out of each other can be. More men join the club until it is a national phenomenon, and the fighters then become a personal army for Durden, blowing up the headquarters of several credit card companies in an effort to free the world of their Ikea-buying impulses. Oh, and Durden and Norton turn out to be the same guy. Hello, Multiple Personalities.

How in the world does this relate to my writing experience? ~~First of all, all of my fictional love interests look like Brad Pitt.~~ I am currently working on two separate novels (with a third brewing at the back of my mind and starting to inch its way forward. Back, #3! Back, I say!) and these WIPs (works in progress) are dramatically different. Behold, the differences:

Idea #1	Idea #2
Third Person Trilogy Fantasy Historical (WWII) England Dead Parents Love Triangle Religious Tones	First Person Stand-Alone Dystopian Future (2030) United States (roughly) Far-Away Parents Love-Hate Relationship Political Tones

Sometimes, one idea will demand to be written, and I'll spend hours or days absorbed in that world. But usually I write a few hundred words on each project every day. Usually back-to-back. Usually while questioning my sanity.

Sometimes I feel like Tyler Durden, living two lives but never fully in control of either one. The stories have a mind of their own. I'm just along for the ride. Of course, the ride would be exponentially more enjoyable if Brad Pitt were here...

Dr. Benning, I presume?

2011-02-07T16:46:00.000-08:00

I'm currently listening to a series of lectures from Yale University on iTunesU about literary theory and loving every minute of it. It's been two years since I sat in a literature course and I've missed it. My dad doesn't get it at all. What could you possibly be studying? It's just a STORY. It's not real.

He's a MATH guy.

Of course, he's correct. To an extent. STORY is not real. Nonfiction isn't even real; it's an interpretation of reality. Literary theory is not necessarily the analysis of a text, but rather an analysis of the text's affect on a reader, and on authorial intent. Of course, this is a very simplified definition (in other words, please don't fill my comments with argument, Lit. Majors.), but even this is something my dad has trouble grasping. He's a CONCRETE kind of a guy. He works in logic and problem-solving, not abstracts.

So it must seem very odd to him that I would like to pursue a doctoral degree in literature.

I submitted my applications in November and have been biting my nails ever since. This blog post is an attempt at passing the time and releasing some of the anxiety that has built up since November. I applied to 8 schools in the hopes of getting just ONE acceptance. The competition is fierce; more so now that so many people are jobless and going back to school. I started with a list of 17 schools, and then narrowed it down with the following criteria:

1. Is it close enough to LA to be able to travel home for visits fairly frequently?

2. Does the program include a teaching fellowship or grants to cover tuition?

3. Will there be an opportunity for socializing?

4. Is the cost of living within reason?

5. Will I be able to handle/enjoy the weather?

With this list in hand, I slashed my list in half and ended up with the following schools:

UCLA-- Commuting distance from my parents' house, includes TAships and free tuition, and is a prestigious university.

USC-- Same as above PLUS offers a creative writing Phd.

UCSB-- one of the top Lit schools in the country and offers fellowships. Can come home any time for a visit.

U of Oregon-- Gorgeous climate and scenery, short plane ride home or long drive

U of Washington-- True, it rains 9 months of the year in Seattle, but I thrive on cloudy/stormy weather. This one was sort of a whim.

U of Utah-- My youngest sister goes to school in Provo, 40 minutes' drive South of Salt Lake City and ample opportunity for socializing with some nice Mormon boys (a plus for a young single Mormon gal like me)

ASU-- I've already lived in the Phoenix area and have family in the area. Cost of living is low, tuition would be free, and my foreign language could be OLD ENGLISH. How sweet is that!? Also, a surplus of the aforementioned Mormon boys...

Oxford-- I couldn't resist, because how freaking amazing would that be? Also, I have a good friend living in the UK (possibly moving to London soon) who I could visit when I'm feeling homesick.

If you had to choose, where would you go? I'm asking because I have no idea what I'll do if two of these schools accept me. The decision might kill me. Here's hoping I get into one, and only one.

Hailee Steinfeld as Katniss?

2011-01-27T21:21:00.000-08:00

Only if the producers of the Hunger Games film adaptation are worth their salt, that is. She was phenomenal in True Grit, and I believe she can carry off the multiplicity that is Katniss Everdeen. She can be serious yet innocent, gorgeous and sexy yet young, ruthless yet full of heart...

A few months ago, Jodelle Ferland hinted that she would like the role of Katniss, but she's not right. She can't give the depth that Katniss requires (see her stint in Eclipse, where she simply looked disgruntled all the time). Below is her no-so-subtle hint:

What do you guys think? Am I on the right track with Hailee Steinfeld? Do you have someone else in mind?

9 weeks of "filling in"

2011-01-24T09:45:00.000-08:00

On October 25th, I started a substitute teaching job at one of the local middle schools. The teacher had been out for five weeks already due to heart problems and stress-related health conditions, and when I came in the parents were already quite frustrated with the situation. Their children are GATE students, the advanced-level students at the school, so 5 weeks of videos and sub plans was not exactly the parents' idea of accelerated curriculum. When I came in, we ditched all videos (almost) and dove into a GATE curriculum, touching on everything from narrative writing to critical essays, Mesopotamia to Egypt.

I had been told the job could last anywhere from one week to several months, and that I wouldn't know very much in advance when I'd be leaving. At first, it was "Please stay until the end of this week," then "Until Thanksgiving," then "Winter break?". My last day was this past Friday, the end of the semester. I thought I'd be relieved when the job was over, but I feel a bit empty. I'm back at that same school today, subbing for another teacher for the day, and a few of my students ran up to me in the hallway offloading huge hugs and pleading with me to return. I wish!

There is a little bit of relief, of course. I'm not spending my evenings lesson planning, or grading, or conversing with parents. It's not my job to be concerned with Suzy Jones, who is falling behind because of her absences, or Tommy who is displaying classic symptoms of an attention disorder. Nope. That falls to the teacher-of-record.

But I miss my kids! I miss watching their heads explode when they get a new concept or write a killer paragraph. I miss hearing them talk about their favorite books and movies, or swapping gossip about Twilight or Hunger Games.

And, yes... I miss the steady work. But that sounds so unromantic, doesn't it?

Anyway, today I'm grateful for a great few months with some amazing kids at a fantastic school with supportive peers. It was a great experience and I grew as a teacher in countless ways. Now it's time to take this new free time for some writing and quilting!

Quilt #2

2011-01-04T20:18:00.000-08:00

A short post! Just wanted to post a pic of my second quilt. I finished it months ago, but I forgot to post the pics! This was created with scraps from my Twilight quilt and with a few new fabrics I picked out to match.

This hobby rocks my socks!

New year, same me.

2011-01-03T16:12:00.000-08:00

My sister, Laura, recently blogged about her feelings on New Year Resolutions: I think that if you have a goal that takes a year to finish, it isn't a very good goal. Like it only takes a few weeks to break/make habits. Then at that point you can make new goals, so the whole once a year thing doesn't work for me. Also, I'm really bad at goals anyway. I do whatever it is until I get the essence completed, then I usually end up bored with it and move on to the next point of interest.

But I always set goals for myself at the beginning of the year. For some of them, it's simply the planning that takes so long. For others, the actual goal takes weeks or months. I like to plan out my year in January with a basic idea of which goals I want to have finished when. I love it when a plan comes together!

Here are my goals from last year (I keep them on my iPhone to remind me):

1. Get Literary Representation

2. Get a full-time teaching position

3. Learn the guitar

4. Cut debt in half

5. Move out of my parents' house.

6-8. Personal stuff regarding bettering myself as a human being.

Of those goals, I accomplished NONE. That's correct: zilch. My excuses:

1. I started querying literary agents at the end of the 2010 but stopped when I decided to fix a few things in my manuscript. I did get a request for a partial, though, which thrilled me no end.

2. I applied to a bajillion schools but the job market is tight. This wasn't for lack of trying.

3. I did, in fact, attempt to learn the guitar. I played regularly for a few months, but then got to a point where I needed outside help but couldn't afford it.

4. This one was kind of dependent on #2.

5. Again, see #2.

So here I am again, staring at another pristine year ahead. As Anne Shirley used to say, "Tomorrow's always fresh, with no mistakes in it," and while I don't consider 2010 a mistake (far from it), I do look forward to the year to come. With the past year in mind, I offer you

MY 2011 RESOLUTIONS:

1. Get literary representation (deja vu, anyone?)

2. Learn all major guitar chords

3. Make another quilt

4. Finish current WIP and start next (May sound vague but I have the level of completion in my head)

5. Get into a PhD program (though this one is already out of my hands as applications went in a month ago) OR get a full-time job

6. Lose that last bit of college weight

So, I've given up on the debt one because it's just insurmountable without a full-time job.

Overall, I'm very excited about these goals. I think they will be fun to work on and they're definitely manageable.

What are your 2011 goals?

An English Thanksgiving

2010-12-28T16:33:00.001-08:00

Obviously, the English don't celebrate Thanksgiving. Although I think they SHOULD since the pilgrims were British.

Since it's been two weeks since my last post, and since I am too lazy to write a real post right now with the Christmas cookie hangover, I thought I'd post about my recent trip overseas. I was in the UK from November 18-28 and it was COLD! But once I got used to the deafening sound of my teeth chattering, it turned out to be a lovely trip.

This was in Wales. My mom loves this pic even though I look like I am in mid-speech. And here's a little slideshow. The pictures are all of me because I didn't want to ask my travel companions for permission to show their beautiful faces. Your loss, readers.

Click here to view these pictures larger

Shakespeare! 2 for the price of 1!

2010-12-13T12:49:00.000-08:00

I love me some Shakespeare. I think it's partially the history-- the idea that I'm sharing in a centuries' old experience with millions of people, from monarchs to prostitutes. It's also the language, Shakespeare's turn of phrase. I connect with his diction and meter. But beyond that, it's his realism. Even when he's bringing in witches and prophecies and ghosts, there's something organic and human about his characters. I can relate to them.

I know he's not everyone's cup of tea; I have friends who find the language too difficult, others find his stories trite, and still others just don't see anything special about him.

But for me, he's a storytelling genius.

What a treat it was this week to revel in TWO of his plays: Much Ado About Nothing and The Tempest. Much Ado is playing at the Kirk Douglas Theatre until this Sunday, and there are reduced-price tickets still available on GoldstarEvents.com. This production stars Helen Hunt as Beatrice, and she's joined by a slew of actors who I recognized but who aren't household names. The production is set at a California vineyard in the present-day, and the scenes are enhanced by an on-stage trio performing Lyle Lovett songs, which at first seems a strange choice but turns out to be quite refreshing.

This is one of my favorite Shakespeare plays, which makes it a difficult one to see performed. The expectation is extremely high (after all, Emma Thompson created the role of Beatrice in my eyes), so it's tough to find a production that meets with my ideals in every way. This production seemed a tad flat, and I'm not sure if that is due to the American accents or the modern setting or simply actor interpretation (the jokes were not as laugh-out-loud as they can be). However, for an evening's entertainment, it was a night well spent.

On the other extreme, The Tempest is my least-favorite Shakespeare play. I feel like he said, "I'ma retire soon, so let's steal a story from someone else and throw in massive special effects in our new theater and call it a night. No one will be the wiser." Seriously: I hate this play.

Why would I go see it in movie form, you may ask? Helen Mirren. She is my idol. And she is playing Prospero. How can this not be fascinating?

The movie was... interesting. The director, Julie Taymor, did Across the Universe, which I never saw because it looked like Moulin Rouge in the 60s with psychedelic special effects. As my little friend, Kayley, says: No hank you. Unfortunately, Taymor decided to bring her kaleidescope-effects to Tempest. She also threw in an electric guitar and an absurd amount of zippers. Really? The Wall Street Journal called the look Elizabethan Punk.

I'm not necessarily a Shakespeare purist. Yes, I prefer unabridged adaptations. But my beef with Taymor's adaptation is the acid-trip quality. It looks like she filmed through a kaleidescope and then threw glitter and swirly motions in. So unnecessary.

As for the acting, I've heard really disparaging things about this cast (besides Mirren, of course). I have to say that I heartily disagree; every member of this cast held his/her own with the language. I found Russel Brand hilarious, Alfred Molina pitch-perfect, and even Djimon Hounsou's Caliban, though a tad forced, was commendable. The language flowed, which is as it should be.

In a nutshell: A must-see purely for historical/cultural purposes, but one time is plenty.

On a side note, we went to a special screening of the film which included a Q and A with Helen Mirren following the film. She is gracious, funny, regal... Gosh, I love her. I want to carry her in my pocket.

Hermione Granger and the Deathly Hallows

2010-12-05T10:07:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to write this post for almost three weeks, but I wasn't quite sure how to approach it. Then yesterday I posted something on Facebook about the relationship between Hermione and Harry in the series and it started a small discussion and I figured I might as well expand on the thought here.

First of all, Deathly Hallows is my favorite HP film to date. I saw it in Wales with some friends and we took copious notes during our two viewings on opening weekend and then spent an evening tearing it apart and putting it back together. For details on our conversation, see this awesome post by Maggie Parke. The post is her point of view, but we agreed on most of the points.

One thing we differed on was our view of the dancing sequence in the film. This isn't a spoiler, so don't worry if you haven't seen the film yet. Basically, the filmmakers inserted a scene during the horcrux quest in which Harry asks Hermione to dance. Maggie--and our friend, Mary Ann--felt that the scene was corny, and also a bit sexual (they commented on Radcliffe's facial expression when he removes the locket from Hermione's neck). I disagreed, pointing out that Harry would NEVER look at Hermione that way, and that their interpretation of Radcliffe's expression was faulty.

Yeah. That went over really well.

For me, that scene was one of my favorites. Though not present in the book, it so perfectly captures what their relationship is: a brother and sister thrown into an impossible situation and refusing to let the other down. At that moment--in the film-- Hermione is the one in need of a lift, and Harry does not hesitate to offer it. That dance says, "I am so sorry I've put you in this mess, I love you for sticking by me, and I'll try to make it better." Hermione accepts his humble offer--all he can give her at that moment-- but they both acknowledge that it isn't enough.

Hermione has always been my favorite character, and I never took the time to examine why that is. True, we are very much alike (ask anyone who has worked with me on a project or traveled with me), but there's something else about her. She's smart and resourceful, willing to learn and grow, and a true and loyal friend.

Remember, Ron did the leaving in the fire swamp (please excuse the Princess Bride reference).

And her relationship with Harry blossoms so organically. The movies do a great job of pointing this out, though it took this weekend's ABC Family Harry Potter marathon to reveal that to me: in Chamber of Secrets, after Hermione has been unpetrified and runs up to Harry and hugs him; in Prisoner of Azkaban when they team up to rescue Buckbeak and Sirius, and Harry shares his feelings about Sirius and his parents with Hermione; in Goblet of Fire when Hermione stands by Harry (when, in a stroke of foreshadowing Ron leaves Harry to fend for himself) and then when she gives Harry that kiss on his head after the gillyweed event; in Order of the Phoenix when they console each other about their unrequited loves; in Half-Blood Prince, when they have that cute conversation at Slughorn's party as Hermione hides from McClaggen...

And in Deathly Hallows, when Hermione gives up her biological family, her past, and--quite possibly-- her future for Harry. Ron cannot say the same. Though he will lose family members to the fight against Voldemort, Hermione didn't have to make that sacrifice. Her parents, as muggles, needn't have been involved in the war. She could easily have said, "Harry, I have to protect my family. We're moving to Australia. You are on your own." Instead, she cut her family ties and chose Harry.

Okay, as I close, I feel I should offer a disclaimer: I am pretty sick right now and my brain isn't running at full capacity. I'm positive I left some things out and didn't address other things. I'm planning to reread the entire series and really delve into this further. But for now, what do you think? Agree? Disagree?

Guest Post: Photography and Writing

2010-11-28T10:00:00.000-08:00

Here's another in a series of guest posts by my writer-friends, Brandon Burhnam. Enjoy!

There is a notion that drives photographers crazy. It is the idea that photography is easy because the actual moment a photograph is taken is the simple result of a button being depressed and released. Part of the irony is the body of innumerable crappy pictures taken by those who don’t understand the craft and the reaction of those same people when they see a photograph taken by someone who is truly talented. They will exclaim, “Wow, how did you take this?” The snide answer would be, “I pushed a button.” That is the causal answer that avoids giving the teleological answer that they are really asking for.

Photographers are craftsmen. I suppose they are artists too, but I like the word craft. To me craft has a sense of building, like a cooper fitting together hand-cut slats or a shipwright building a ship. Photographers build a scene that tells a story. There is power in a photograph when it draws you in and makes you want more. Brooks Jensen said, “It’s easy to take a picture of a person and call it a portrait, the true difficulty lies in making the viewer care about a complete stranger.”

Photographers take amazing pictures because they see and then they capture an image that makes the viewer see exactly what they want them to. Capture here is not a passive word. It is the result of position, timing, lighting, framing, composition, color and many other factors that elude the passive point-and-shoot picture takers. Photographers are great at being in control; their work is not the result of chance, but of choice.

Writers succeed to the extent that they have control. That means first seeing clearly; knowing the story that is to be told. They then must build it, carefully, piece by piece. Not throw together all the right elements and hope that they fall into place of their own accord.

As writers we tell stories. To do it well me must master the craft. When we do, our work will stand out of the sea of mediocre, because it is good. Balance is the key, we give just the right amount, the skeleton, and let the reader fill in the flesh. They will feel the story because they are creating it out of their own minds. The power is that while they are creating, it is not random. Too much and they are not participants and co-creators, only spectators. Too little and they are lost and left wanting. Our reader must feel what we wish them to feel, ask the questions we wish them to ask, love the characters we wish them to love and hate the ones we wish them to hate. The reader must be follow the path we prescribe but think they are forging a new trail.

How does one gain that ability? I am reminded of the 1965 Parker Brothers game, Booby-Trap. The game is played by removing small wooden pieces from the playing board. The difficulty is that the pieces are jammed together and held tight by a spring-loaded tension bar. Pulling out the wrong piece will advance the bar and cost the player points. Here is an excerpt from the instructions. I find it amusing. It falls under the bold title of How to Develop Skill. “When the spring bar is released, architectural stress arches and patterns are formed. Skill comes in being able to recognize and trace these patters.” That’s like saying, “A good story is formed when difficulty and conflict are released on engaging characters in compelling settings. Skill as a writer comes in recognizing plot arches and patterns.” But that says nothing of HOW. I feel left wanting both in Booby Trap and Writing. That advice is like saying, “To get rich, carry out a million dollar idea.”

I suppose there would be more millionaires if there were easy to follow steps to millionaire-ness. There would also be more best-selling authors if there were easy to follow steps to author-ness. What makes them desirable is their exclusivity. It takes work to get there.

And that is part of being a writer. The work, the energy and time invested, the practice. Stephen King suggests that lots of reading and lots of writing are key to the competent writer who wishes to become a good writer.

* * *

A talented photographer I know went to Ecuador. He came back with amazing photographs. When people saw them they exclaimed that Ecuador was such a beautiful place. He later told me that of course people thought it was beautiful. That was what he wanted them to believe and he was in control of their reactions. “I could have very easily told a very different story. I could have made Ecuador a very ugly dirty place. But that’s not what I chose. I could make Ecuador anything I wanted, I just chose to make it beautiful.” Does that make photography dishonest? No, it just means that there are many ways to see things.

As a writer I want my craft to stand out from the sea of the bland. “A picture’s worth a thousand words.” But I am not a photographer and can’t tell my stories with visual images. But as a Writer I want those who read my thousand words to see in their mind the image I create, just as powerfully as if it were real.

What's Ashley Reading?-- Ugly Edition

2010-11-21T10:00:00.000-08:00

I'm currently sitting in an airplane. American Airlines has wifi on select flights over the continental US. How awesome is that!? Of course, I paid $12.95 for it...

Anyway, it's time for another What's Ashley Reading? post. This post is brought to you by the letter K for Kate Green, the lovely young woman (is she eleven?) who let me borrow her copy of Scott Westerfeld's Uglies. I've been wanting to read this series for a while, but I never could find the time. Also, Hunger Games sort of sucked all of my dystopian fervor for a bit. It took me two weeks to read Uglies, which I regret. Life got crazy. What can I say?

Uglies is the first in a series of four books by Scott Westerfeld, and tells the story of Tally, a sixteen-year-old living in a twisted futuristic society in which all adults have been surgically altered to be beautiful. Tally's best friend, Perris, has already been changed and is waiting for her in Pretty Town, the part of the city where the Pretties live and play.

However, Tally's perception about her society changes when she meets Shay, a radical teenager who keeps harping about a secret civilization outside the city boundaries where Uglies live as Uglies their whole lives. When Shay's stories turn out to be true, Tally is faced with a choice: stay the course, turn Pretty, and live happily ever after--or naive ever after-- OR help lead the revolution.

Overall, I thought Uglies was a fun read. Some parts of it seemed done before, but what hasn't already been done? Once Tally made it to the Smoke, the story picked up exponentially. And, of course, the reader is left hanging at the end of book one. Tally has made her choice, but how will it work out for her?

I'll probably read the rest of the series when I have a chance to breathe again. In a nutshell: Uglies is the more pleasant younger sister of Hunger Games.

Going on holiday...

2010-11-15T21:16:00.000-08:00

My friend, Mary Ann, and I are going to the UK on Wednesday...

We're heading to Bangor, Wales to visit with our favorite Twilight guru, Maggie Parke (who is awesome in at least 37 different ways and who has a magnificent blog, even if she only updates once every year), then we're heading to Coventry, Devonshire, and ending up in London with a short jaunt out to Oxford.

This is my fourth week in my long-term sub assignment, and though I'm loving the kids and faculty I'm definitely in need of a holiday. On top of the long-term sub position, I've also been teaching three online high school English courses, applying to 8 different PhD programs for the fall semester, and planning part of our church Christmas party.

Yes; it's time to leave it all behind for 10 glorious days.

I've lined up some fun blog posts for while I'm away. One is a What's Ashley Reading for Scott Westerfeld's Uglies and the other is another guest post by another writer-friend of mine, in which he compares writing to photography. If I have time between gazing on magnificent vistas and writing to my heart's content, I'll also post some updates from the trip.

Regardless, I hope you all have a marvelous Thanksgiving. This year, I am grateful for independence, story, and adventures.

Guest Post: The Ugliest Chapter

2010-11-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

I've asked a few of my writer-friends to write guest posts about the writing process so you guys don't have to just listen to MY feelings on the subject.

by Johnny L. Knott

It's always the second chapter that flummoxes the proud parent of a new idea. The first chapter is written in a fit of excitement, with fingers flying over the keyboard in a heady dose of adrenaline.

Something new, something unwritten; every moment you are on the cusp of declaring this a work of art. After all, Mark Twain never had an opening like THIS.

But, alas! those unwieldy digits start to drag when it's time to type out "Chapter 2" at the top of a fresh page. By the second page, panic has set in. The first chapter, which seemed nothing less than an afflatus of the highest order, has dwindled down to a beaten, outdated road map. As much as you would like it to assume all the responsibilities of a guiding star, you find yourself apostatizing from its direction right from the start. Chapter 1 is the dutiful son; chapter 2 the truculent prodigal.

One remedy atones for such impiousness: the outline. The most un-sexy part of writing a novel, the outline should be the foundation of every chapter. After all, a snappy idea won't get you far. The outline does two things better than anything else: it keeps you from tempting diversions and grants you a peep at the end from the beginning.
Helpful, I think, since deregulating the housing market in the 1980's also seemed like a good idea at the time.

As for tempting diversions, you should have a host of these to combat if your characters are any good. I tend to lose myself--happily--in snappy dialogue, excited to see how well my multi-faceted people interact. But getting carried away in character development, ostensibly under the guise of preferring a "character-driven" story, quickly devolves into a lesson in lethargy: there ARE no compelling characters without a compelling--and comprehensive--plot. If your idea is a good one, it will survive the impertinence of an outlining session, the outrages against its character in the form of a pre-fabricated synopsis. The flow and direction of a story is only as captivating as its original outline is thorough.

Otherwise, you all too soon find yourself dealing with the unwanted brothers and sisters of a stellar first chapter.

What the crap did I just do?

2010-11-01T20:33:00.000-07:00

Right now I am sitting at Corner Bakery with my two pals. We come every Monday and whip out our laptops to get THINGS accomplished for a few hours. My THING is usually working on one of my novels. Tonight, I'm working on book two of a trilogy. These characters have been with me for a while; I know them inside and out.

Which is why I was so shocked when, ten minutes ago, one of those characters did something so insanely... stupid, causing the death of a few people his true love cares about.

Now, there's a RIFT. I have no idea what to do with a RIFT. And it's a big 'un. I'm not sure how these two characters are going to overcome this. Which, of course, makes for a killer story. The only problem is that, as the writer, I sort of need to know what happens next. And I have no clue. This is a complete departure from my original plans for these two.

The thought did cross my mind to use the ol' delete button and re-work the scene, but it's just such good drama! And it's organic-- emerging from the story alone, not my premeditation.

Have you ever been reading a book and said, "Wow, didn't see THAT coming!"? Do you ever wonder if the author saw it coming?

Books on my nightstand...

2010-10-24T20:23:00.000-07:00

My students are sometimes amazed that I can read several books at once. "Ms. B, don't you get the characters mixed up?" "How do you keep the plots straight?" "How do you have time?" To which I answer, "No," "They keep themselves straight," and "I give up sleep."

My nightstand is my repository for my current/pressing reads. As you can see, it's gotten a little crowded of late:

The two French books, Le Petit Prince and Fascination are the result of my attempt at re-learning French. I figured, I already have Twilight memorized; I might as well read it in French.

The other books are:

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson-- I can not get past chapter 2 of this book. I feel like I'm living the story in real time. However, the book retains its coveted spot on the nightstand because I am determined to finish it someday.

The Day the Falls Stood Still by Cathy Marie Buchanan-- Added it to my Nook wish list ages ago and then found a hardback copy for $3.99 at Barnes & Noble.

The Last Good Place of Lily Odilon by Sara Beitia-- I won this book by posting pics of my writing/office space on Daphne Unfeasible's blog. Looks like a fantastic read and I can't wait to get started.

The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton-- I start a new teaching assignment tomorrow and I will be teaching this novel. Having never read it, I thought now might be a good time to do so.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte-- My favorite book, and a great read for this gloomy weather. This book is never far from my nightstand.

Uglies by Scott Westerfeld-- I'm almost finished with this one, which is a loaner from my friend Kate, who blogged a review a few months ago. It took a while to get going, but now the story is really chugging along and I'm completely sucked in.

And then, the Nook. I love this thing. Right now, the books in progress in my Nook are The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein and City of Bones by Cassandra Clare.

Now, do I read all of these books every day? No. I'm not a lunatic. I haven't touched the bottom three in weeks, and the two above I haven't even started yet. Jane Eyre will happen sometime in the next month, and The Hobbit is on hold until I feel like returning to Middle Earth (I got sick of all the food, drink, and song...).

But I am actively reading three books right now, and that's normal for me.

What are your reading habits? Are you a one-at-a-time-er or a all-you-can-read-er?

Oh, and for fun, here's a pic of the back of my Nook, signed by Rhys Bowen, Laurie R. King, Hannah Dennison, Shannon and Dean Hale, Frank Beddor, and Seth Grahame-Smith.

I have no idea why that picture won't rotate. Foiled again, technology!

Internet Etiquette 101

2010-10-17T20:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had the opportunity to talk with our church youth about internet etiquette. It's amazing how this topic didn't even exist twenty years ago, and now it's a huge concern. As a teacher, I'm especially concerned with the way kids interact online, particularly when it bleeds into their regular etiquette.

Anyway, I modified a Prezi that someone else had shared on Prezi.com in order to better illustrate what I wanted to cover. Here it is:

And, because it's hilarious, a video on Facebook etiquette:

From the man who brought you The Shining...

2010-10-10T18:54:00.000-07:00

Confession: I have never read a Stephen King novel. When I was in middle school, there was a large student-made poster of It in the library. The poster had won an award several years earlier, and the large clown stared down with its menacing eyes from its spot on the Winners' Wall above the door. You couldn't exit the library without seeing him. Heck, you couldn't just sit in the library without staring at him; his red hair and nose drew the eye like a huge Eat at Joe's sign.

That poster put me off Stephen King literature until this very day.

Of course, the movies are a different story. I saw The Shining in college one Halloween, and Carrie was homework for a film class. I was weirded out by Secret Window during my Johnny Depp phase. But I will not touch the novels.

However, King has also written a book on the writing process called On Writing, and everyone in the writing world seems to have read this book. Last week, I decided to give it a shot.

Simply put, this book is awesome.

It's broken up into five short sections: a C.V., What Writing Is, Toolbox, On Writing, On Living. I must admit that I was surprised when I opened the book to chapter one to find myself not in a writing textbook, but a memoir of King's writing life. At first, I wondered why he chose to include the intimate details of his past (after all, I don't need to know about his drug and alcohol abuse, do I?), but then I realized that he was bartering with me: He'd give me his Curriculum Vitae, his life through the lens of writing, and I would give him my trust.

He talked about sending short stories to magazines when he was a young teen and of hanging the rejection letters on his wall. When his nail was too overburdened with the letters, he put a stake into the wall. And he kept writing.

He had to work full-time to support a family, sometimes in a manual labor capacity, sometimes as a teacher. And he kept writing.

He struggled with major addiction problems and a horrendous recovery. And he kept writing.

His mother developed and died from cancer. And he kept writing.

He was hit by a car and almost died.

And he kept writing.

Sense a theme here? By the time I got to the Toolbox section, I had already decided that I would keep writing, come Hell or high water.

He then describes the writer's toolbox: what tools every writer must have at his disposal and use frequently: vocabulary, grammar, style, and organization. Each tool gets extensive analysis with examples. This is the textbook part of the book, and I couldn't put it down.

Then he talks about writing in a more general sense. One thing he said that really struck me was, "While it is impossible to make a competent writer out of a bad writer, and while it is equally impossible to make a great writer out of a good one, it is possible, with lots of hard work, dedication, and timely help, to make a good writer out of a merely competent one." He then goes on to explain how to make that happen. And he makes it sound totally possible.

Up to this point he has alluded several times to the car accident that almost took his life. In the On Living section, he finally shares the horrific story of how, when he was in the midst of writing a short book about the writing process, he went out for a walk and was pulverized by a van. His description of the accident and aftermath was chilling ("carefully wiping palmfuls of blood out of my eyes... my lap now appears to be on sideways"). But it's his story of recovery (God bless his wife, Tabitha) and finding his writing again that really hits the reader in the heart.

Here's the closing paragraph:
Writing isn't about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it's about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. ..Writing is magic, as much the water of life as any other creative art. The water is free. So drink. Drink and be filled up.

Edward Rochester...Cullen?

2010-10-04T10:00:00.000-07:00

This has been covered in the Twilight world already, I am certain, though I haven't actually had time to read any outside analysis. If you've written a blog post about it or a critical paper, feel free to link to it in the comments. Frankly, I've been so involved my essay on age in Twilight for Maggie Parke's 2011 anthology of criticism that I haven't been able to research anything beyond age constructs and archetypes in YA lit. So any input you have on this topic is appreciated.

Let's clear up some things right now: Jane Eyre is one of my favorite books. Full stop.

Twilight is a fun read. And I'm not one of those people who is ashamed to say that I enjoy the series or attended a midnight screening. I spoke at the flipping Twilight conference, for goodness' sake.

I ran a book club in 2007/2008 and we read Jane Eyre and another fantastic (but lesser-known) book, Act of Contrition. At the time, I was struck by the similarities between the two stories. I even wrote up a short outline for a paper which I had hoped to submit to a journal. Of course, my old foes Procrastination and Fear of Rejection won that battle. But regardless of my state of publication, I tend to dwell on topics for months. Thus, when I read Twilight and its three sequels the following October, I still had Jane Eyre and Act of Contrition on my mind.

Now, it's a well-known fact that Meyer took from other literature to weave her vampire tale. I'm not saying this makes her stories any less valid; on the contrary, I think her use of motifs and allusions (like Rowling's) enhance her story. Twilight is supposed to be Pride and Prejudice, New Moon is Romeo and Juliet, etc.

For me, the entire series is Jane Eyre.

Buy this image on stuff at CafePress.

Before you throw pencils at your monitor and groan in disgust, let me make my case:

Jane Eyre in a nutshell: Orphaned girl grows up in boarding school for poor girls, makes few friends, becomes a governess for the mysterious Edward Rochester (20 years her senior) at Thornfield Hall. (Rochester has a young ward who is NOT his but who he cares for anyway because he's awesome). Rochester and Jane form an attachment and he proposes marriage. She accepts. On wedding day, Rochester's secret wife is revealed (she's crazy and lives in the attic). Jane runs away and ends up living with her cousins through a strange twist of fate. Jane becomes a school teacher. Cousin Saint John asks her to marry him after a few months, and she turns him down after hearing Rochester call to her from across the moor. She goes back to Thornfield Hall, discovers it has been burned to the ground, that crazy-wife is dead, and that Rochester is living a half-life in one of his other houses, blind and lame. She runs to his aid, helps him recover, and they are married.

How is this Twilight?
It's not EXACTLY, but there are some interesting similarities. Bella is a (somewhat orphaned) young woman who finds herself in love with a much older man. (He's 109 for cripes' sake). The lovers are separated in New Moon just as Jane and Rochester are, and Bella becomes closer with Jacob, her Saint John. She communicates with Edward through her adrenaline rushes, just as Jane communicates with Rochester across the moor. Bella also wishes for death, just as Jane allowed herself to approach death on the moor.

Plotwise, that's probably where the similarities end. Edward doesn't have a mad wife in his attic, though vampirism is definitely his symbolic mad wife-- the thing that comes between him and Bella.

But take a look at characterization. Both Edwards are brooding, melancholy men leading lives of solitude before the appearance of their true loves. Both are wealthy. Both have a strong--yet somewhat twisted-- sense of religion/morals (Rochester begs Jane to live with him in a white-washed villa on the Mediterranean where they will be as brother and sister and he'll only peck her cheek on birthdays--yeah, right-- and Edward believes he has no soul and that the only way to save any part of Bella's is to abstain from sex until marriage). Jane and Bella start as timid characters, self-sufficient but not truly independent. As they struggle with an impossible love--and separation from that love-- they find themselves, and return to their respective Edwards as whole women, ready to take on the role of wife and mother with a renewed sense of self.

Let's travel further down the rabbit hole... Rochester tells Jane that "it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous Channel, and two hundred miles or so of land come broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I've a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly." Sounds an awful lot like Bella in New Moon: "I was like a lost moon--my planet destroyed in some cataclysmic, disaster-movie scenario of desolation--that continued, nevertheless, to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space left behind, ignoring the laws of gravity" (201). Many characters comment on this tie between Bella and Edward, and Rosenberg had Renee voice this idea in the new Eclipse movie as well.

Both Edwards are (unintentionally) abusive to their loves; Rochester is big on grabbing Jane's wrist, and Edward is big on being a big, marble, statue for Bella to bruise herself on. Oh, and there's the whole vampire thing, too. He never does get a bite in, but the danger is very real. More than that, though is--as my sister, Laura said-- the IDEA of these Edwards is harmful to Jane and Bella. Being with Rochester is definitely not a healthy choice for Jane, and being with Edward is just as bad of an idea for Bella. UNTIL those women go through their emotional transformation and find their inner strength.

I'm not going to take this any further. We could talk about Forks vs. the moor, Gothic elements in both stories, the Byronic hero, etc., but I think this has gone on long enough.

What do you guys think? Similarities or just coincidences? Is my brain just making connections because it wants to see them? Or is there actually a shadow of Jane Eyre in Twilight?

RED ALERT

2010-10-03T23:25:00.000-07:00

The first query has OFFICIALLY gone out. In preparation, I updated the Writing Portfolio section of this site. If you are interested, go take a look at the first two chapters of Knights of the Sun.

Let the anxiety begin.

What's Ashley Reading: Cemetery Edition

2010-09-30T10:00:00.000-07:00

I'm going to come right out and say it: I loved The Time Traveler's Wife. I'm not talking about the movie--though I did really enjoy that as well. I'm talking about the heart-wrenching, brain numbing novel. That was one of those books that stayed with me for weeks, and even now pops into my thoughts every now and then.

I was thrilled to discover that, not long after I started TTW withdrawals, Audrey Niffenegger was scheduled to release a new novel. Her Fearful Symmetry looked... eerie. The cover was a strange metallic blue with finger-like, black branches creating the letters for the title. I was interested to see what the author of that crazy time-travelling book would come up with next, so I downloaded it on my Nook.

Here's a synopsis from Simon and Schuster:

Julia and Valentina Poole are twenty-year-old sisters with an intense attachment to each other. One morning the mailman delivers a thick envelope to their house in the suburbs of Chicago. Their English aunt Elspeth Noblin has died of cancer and left them her London apartment. There are two conditions for this inheritance: that they live in the flat for a year before they sell it and that their parents not enter it. Julia and Valentina are twins. So were the girls' aunt Elspeth and their mother, Edie.

The girls move to Elspeth's flat, which borders the vast Highgate Cemetery, where Christina Rossetti, George Eliot, Stella Gibbons, and other luminaries are buried. Julia and Valentina become involved with their living neighbors: Martin, a composer of crossword puzzles who suffers from crippling OCD, and Robert, Elspeth's elusive lover, a scholar of the cemetery. They also discover that much is still alive in Highgate, including—perhaps—their aunt.

There is a HUGE twist in this book that just blows you away, but it is hundreds of pages in getting there. The characters are a little less developed than Henry and Clare in TTW, but they are interesting nonetheless. As with TTW there is some language and the occasional sex scene (or suggestive scene), but these are minor and take a backseat to the plot.

I eventually bought a print copy to sit on my bookshelf, right next to TTW, but I have yet to reread it. I THINK about rereading it all the time. I even get it off the shelf and put it on my nightstand. But it's such a creepy book-- creepy Jane Eyre, not creepy Carrie-- that I can't bring myself to open it again. As we're entering October, I put this forth as a fantastic option for a Halloween read.

Dead Parents

2010-09-26T23:03:00.000-07:00

It's so amazing that today, when YA Lit is in its heyday, there is still such a stigma attached to it. I was talking with a friend today about Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games trilogy (if you haven't read it, do it NOW), and he said this:

"It is YA lit, but the first two books were really good."

Did you catch that? "BUT?" Here's the subtext/translation of that sentence:

"YA Lit is traditionally such mediocre literature that I was surprised by the merit in these two books."

Now, the person who made this comment is no stranger to YA lit. I think he even prefers it to other genres. But look at the Freudian slip even a fan of YA books can make.

It's no surprise to any of you that I have a soft spot in my heart for YA lit. I wrote my MA thesis on Harry Potter, I've spoken at a Twilight conference, and I have an essay coming out in an anthology of Twilight criticism in 2011. As a middle school teacher, I try to immerse myself in YA lit so I can recommend books to my students.

Which is probably why I find it so ~~infuriating~~ ~~aggravating~~ small-minded to take the side of the mob-like mentality that YA lit is lesser lit. I ran into another example of this mentality today through a post on Nathan Bransford's blog. Now, Bransford simply linked to an article published in Publisher's Weekly and then made some innocuous comments about it. He's far more diplomatic than I.

The article in question is called "The Ol' Dead Dad Syndrome: Why are there so many dead parents in kids' books?" Having written articles on age representations in YA lit, I feel like I have a small amount of expertise in this area. The author, Leila Sales, asserts that there are three reasons that so many children's and YA books have dead parents:

1. Author laziness

2. "The instant sympathy factor"

3. Grownups are boring

Looking at #3, I think it's problematic to make such a blanket statement. What Sales means is that grownups prevent the younger characters from having fun. She writes, "Adult characters put a damper on the kid-only adventures that make children's books fun."

Yes, and no.

Parents tend to be protective. This argument is nothing new. Look at Catherine Gilbert Murdoch's article, "The Adventures of Mommy Buzzkill" (which I can't link to because the Horn Book lives in the dark ages and doesn't have it in digital form). In it, Murdoch explains that protagonists in children's lit tend to have absent parents because a present parent would do everything in his/her power to shield the child from harm. Unfortunately, HARM tends to be on the menu when you are the hero of a story. It's part of the Hero's Journey, right? Heroes have to overcome obstacles in order to win the prize. Heroes don't win the prize by being bubble-wrap children. Heroes get banged up. Heroes bleed.

But this is PARENTS, Murdoch is talking about. Sales is referring to "grownups." I think this is faulty logic. YA lit is not lacking in adults who not only don't shield kids from harm, but also actively bring them into harmful situations. Let's take a look at Dumbledore: yes, he often tries to shield Harry from unhappy truths, but he has no qualms about allowing him into harmful situations, frequently without the tools for escape. Or how about the Percy Jackson series in which adults practically SHOVE young people into near-death experiences.

But here's what really irks me about Sales' article. She writes,

To quote Oscar Wilde, sort of: "To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose a parent in nearly every children's book looks like lazy writing." (I assume that is what Wilde meant.)

What's so lazy about writing in a deceased parent? I'll tell you.

First, a dead parent is one fewer character to have to write...Second, there's the instant sympathy factor.

Lazy? Really? I think it's at least as difficult to create a complex relationship with a deceased character as it is with a living one. Ask anyone who has lost a loved one: your relationship with that person does not end when his heart stops beating. Let's take Harry Potter again. Lily and James Potter are so much a part of Harry's life that they are characters on equal footing with everyone else in Harry's support system. When they emerge from the Resurrection Stone at the end of Deathly Hallows the reader feels as if she has known them all along. Now that's some slick writing, my friends.

As for Sales' other assertion--that the death of parents creates instant sympathy-- I think that's probably partially true, provided the character warrants sympathy and that that parents were not evil. But a writer could just as easily give the protagonist a handicap or a bully for sympathy. In other words, there are THOUSANDS of easy-outs for instant sympathy. And they are ALL dependent on the character being worthy of that sympathy.

This post is getting far too long and I'm making absolutely no sense, but I have one final thought. Stick with me! We're almost there.

I think what it all comes down to is the quality of the writer. If a writer is lazy, she will definitely use the absence of parents as a cop-out. But if she is in any way worth her salt (or MFA), she will embrace this ages-old motif as a challenge and use it to create a multi-layered character.

To claim that dead parents=lazy writing, with no deeper analysis than that, seems to ME to display signs of triviality.

How to Track Your Queries: Procrastination at its Best.

2010-09-22T14:34:00.000-07:00

There's a truth universally acknowledged that a writer looking for an agent MUST be in want of a query tracking system. If any of you writers out there are reading this post, hopefully you'll get some ideas that you can incorporate into your own system. For the rest of you, let this be yet another illustration of my compulsive organization disorder.

Before we get started, a word on queries. Queries are the writer's opportunity to pitch his or her story to an agent. Queries are made up of three parts: ~~blood, sweat, and tears~~ intro, synopsis, and author details. Good queries are only a page long and manage to convey the style, plot, and character development of a writer's novel, in a way that leaves an agent chomping at the bit to read the full manuscript and imagining a successful partnership with the author. All of this is accomplished in 300 words or less.

Daunting, no?

It gets better. Once you have a basic query letter written, you need to modify it for each agent. Is an agent particularly interested in historical fiction? Play that part of your novel up. Maybe another agent constantly tweets about her adorable new dog (like Jennifer Laughran) and she also represents animal books; you might want to mention that the hero dog in your story is the same breed as her dog.

Just don't suck up. It's ugly, people.

And, just as every agent has different tastes, every agent has different submission requirements. For each agent, a writer needs to know: agency requirements (Does he allow simultaneous submissions to other agencies? Multiple agents within their own agency?), agent preferences (What genre is the agent interested in? Has she gone on the record saying Urban Fantasy is overdone? That she hates books about cats?), submission requirements (query alone, query and short synopsis, query, synopsis and 10 pages, electronic submissions only, SASE...), and estimated response time and follow-up guidelines (is it a "Don't call us; we'll call you" situation, or are you allowed to email after 6 weeks?).

That's a lot of information. How does one keep track of it all? One goes digital.

For me, Microsoft OneNote holds an equivalent status on the organization totem pole as Post-Its (and I ADORE Post-Its). As far as I'm concerned, the gods of organization got together and decided that we mortals were catastrophically messy beings, and that we needed a savior. The gods spoke, and OneNote was born. All hail OneNote.

The main page of my Query Tracker OneNote is an enormous spreadsheet. This is the brain of the entire notebook and it provides me with instant answers and a general overview of the madness. See Spot OneNote (yes, I just verbed OneNote).

My spreadsheet has columns for agency, agent, agent preferences, submission requirements, which synopsis he prefers (if any), website, where I found him (blog, book, Writer's Market), response time, date queried, response, and notes. I can then hyperlink the agent name to a tab I've created just about him. I paste in my favorite of his blog articles, interviews with him from other websites, and anything else I need in order to paint myself a picture of him. OneNote allows me to hyperlink all over the place-- to his blog, Twitter account, agency website, to other tabs with information about him. I can even include shortcuts to emails in Outlook, so all of my correspondence with each agent is organized and at my fingertips. I've also pasted important querying articles into tabs off of my base page.

This is cyber-stalking at its finest, ladies and gentlemen.

When I am ready to send out a query, I double check the agent's requirements by following my hyperlinks, then I send per instructions. I make a note in my spreadsheet of the date, and then I can follow the follow-up instructions in a few weeks. When I get a response, I can copy a shortcut to the email or create a separate page under that agent's name with the text of the email.

OneNote is bliss. What is UPS's new slogan? I (heart) logistics? Well, I (heart) OneNote.

If you thought this was fascinating (she said, trying not to burst into manic laughter), stay tuned for a soon-to-be-~~written~~ released post including my ACTUAL QUERY SYNOPSIS. I will also be posting the first two chapters of my novel very soon.

Let the queries begin!

Where I Write (and Procrastinate)

2010-09-14T20:48:00.000-07:00

Kate Schafer Testerman (literary agent extraordinaire) is asking for pics of offices/writing spaces in the hopes that they will inspire her to re-do her own work space. Since I love my work space so much, I thought I'd throw a couple of pics up.

This is my office, affectionately called the Blue Room. Actually, it started an interesting tea color which only served to make me feel like starting a mob, wearing feathers, and invading a large ship in Boston Harbor. Luckily, paint is cheap, and the room was quickly transformed into a writer's paradise.

As you can see, I work with two monitors, which is great for keeping email or Twitter on the screen while I'm doing research or writing. It's also a fantastically efficient way to do revisions and edits; I put a reader's comments on one screen and work on the manuscript on the other.

No writing room would be complete without a certificate of British Title (I'm a Baroness)...

mantra...

and cork board. My cork board is laden with things that make me happy: my NaNoWriMo Winner Certificate, buttons from the Sequim Lavender Festival and the Utah Shakespearean Festival, buttons from my dad's Congressional campaign, a headshot of Edward, and writing ideas. Can you spot Pocket Edward?

The great thing about this room is that I can do yoga in it, flip on a movie when I'm futzing around online, shut out the world and write, or relax on my couch and read. Of course, there's a 40" TV on the wall that's not shown in these pictures. Come on; I DO have a film degree, remember? It's a necessity.

What's Ashley Reading: Scary Twins Edition

2010-09-13T10:00:00.000-07:00

The misty/cloudy/foggy/AWESOME weather we are having in Woodland Hills has gotten me in the mood to read something a little... dark. I'm pulling out a favorite: The Thirteenth Tale.

I can't believe I haven't written a What's Ashley Reading about this one yet. I first *read* it as an audiobook when I was painting my office two years ago. My mom plunked in her iPod and said "You have to listen to this," and I did. It was narrated by Lynn Redgrave and it was mesmerizing. Of course, I found out later that I had listened to an abridged version.

I bought the book.

I devoured the book.

Here's the synopsis from Simon and Schuster:

Reclusive author Vida Winter, famous for her collection of twelve enchanting stories, has spent the past six decades penning a series of alternate lives for herself. Now old and ailing, she is ready to reveal the truth about her extraordinary existence and the violent and tragic past she has kept secret for so long. Calling on Margaret Lea, a young biographer troubled by her own painful history, Vida disinters the life she meant to bury for good. Margaret is mesmerized by the author's tale of gothic strangeness -- featuring the beautiful and willful Isabelle, the feral twins Adeline and Emmeline, a ghost, a governess,a topiary garden and a devastating fire. Together, Margaret and Vida confront the ghosts that have haunted them while becoming, finally, transformed by the truth themselves.

Here's what I wrote in my book on July 14, 2009:

I've had to wait an entire day to write my feelings about this book because I had to figure them out! First of all, this story is not just a charming tale about a young writer biographing a dying one. This is a ghost story, a mystery, and a Gothic novel. After the first few chapters, the tone and plotline skew and the reader just holds on for the ride.

The language is breathtaking! It's like falling into a pool of words and allowing them to maneuver around you, embracing you, enfolding you within them.

Having allowed a year to pass since my original review, and having re-read the book twice since then, I have to say that the language continues to amaze me, and the plot twists still leave me feeling... weirded out. I honestly can't think of another phrase to describe the feeling you get when you finish this book. Sorry.

I'll leave you with the words of Vida Winter since my vocabulary has clearly failed me in the face of such a literary masterpiece:

All children mythologize their birth. It is a universal trait. You want to know someone? Heart, mind and soul? Ask him to tell you about when he was born. What you get won't be the truth; it will be a story. And nothing is more telling than a story.

What's Ashley Reading: Jamaica Edition

2010-09-09T11:00:00.000-07:00

I mentioned in a previous post that I would be doing a review of Andrea Levy's Small Island. I finished this book on May 14 (according to my notes) but just never got around to writing the review. Of course, May 14 would have put me a mere 3 weeks before the infamous election, so I'm giving myself a bit of leniency. Without further ado, Small Island...

Written by Andrea Levy, an English daughter of Jamaican parents, Small Island tells the story of Hortense (mostly), a young Jamaican woman trying to make her way to England after WWII. She has dreamed of living in London in a house with a doorbell for her entire life, but her methods for getting to the mother land are not quite kosher, and her understanding of a black woman's place in England is completely naive.

Here's the trailer for the Masterpiece Classic dramatization (excellent adaptation, by the way):

Here's what I wrote in the book when I had finished it:
Small Island is a fascinating look at the prejudices between blacks and whites in England during and after WWII. I had never thought much about racism in England, but it existed there--though milder (to a degree) than in the U.S..
I loved the characters in this story. They are all unique and distinct and yet their lives mesh so believably. The dialect was especially well done, and the end of the story rang true, if heart-breaking.

What's Ashley Reading: Royal Blood Edition

2010-09-08T11:23:00.000-07:00

Isn't it awesome how reading leads to more reading? A few months ago, I went to an author discussion at the Santa Monica Library. The evening was called "Murder Most British" and I was attending because my IDOL, Laurie R. King, was one of the three authors who would be answering audience questions, sharing insights into their upcoming novels, and then signing books.

I had never heard of the two other authors, Rhys Bowen and Hannah Dennison, so this was a great opportunity to perhaps find another author to love. I left deciding to give Rhys Bowen's Royal Spyness series a try.

The series revolves around Lady Georgiana Rannoch, 34th in line to the British throne in the 1930s, as she tries to make her own way in the world. Though of royal blood, the Rannochs have very little money as most of it was lost in the crash of 1929. They have a drafty castle in Scotland, where Georgie's brother and sister-in-law live, and an equally drafty house in London, where Georgie decides to take up residence. With no money and no domestic-savvy, and with the burden of her royal blood, Georgie is left with very few resources. It turns out, however, that she is extremely adept at solving mysteries.

Here's the synopsis for book one:

Georgie, aka Lady Victoria Georgiana Charlotte Eugenie, cousin of King George V of England, is penniless and trying to survive on her own as an ordinary person in London in 1932.

So far she has managed to light a fire and boil an egg...
She's gate-crashed a wedding...
She's making money by secretly cleaning houses...
And she's been asked to spy for Her Majesty the Queen.

Everything seems to be going swimmingly until she finds a body in her bathtub and realizes someone is definitely trying to kill her.

The books are loads of fun, with hilarious characters-- some of them historical figures-- and true mysteries. They are real Whodunnit stories, but with a sense of fun.

And it helps that Georgie's sometime-love-interest, Darcy O'Gray, is the tall, dark, handsome, and mysterious type. Wish he would show up more often...

Anyway, the fourth book in the series, Royal Blood, came out yesterday. It's a spoof on the vampire genre and finds Georgie traveling to Transylvania to attend a royal wedding: But at the macabre-looking castle, Georgie finds the bride with blood running down her chin, and a wedding guest is poisoned. Now it's up to Georgie to save the nuptial festivities before the couple's vows become "to love and to cherish, till 'undeath' do them part..."

It's a perfect read during this fabulous gloomy weather we've been having.

As for the language, it's definitely not as rich or elevated as King's series, but that's as it should be. Mary Russell (King's protagonist) is a genius and the language reflects that; poor Georgie's education consisted of balancing a book on her head and learning where to place an archbishop at dinner. The language in Bowen's books is approachable and laugh-out-loud funny at times.

Can't wait for the next book to come out next fall!

Nice work, if you can get it.

2010-09-04T10:00:00.000-07:00

Those of you who follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn know that this summer has been the Summer O' Job Hunting. I've applied to dozens of schools, interviewed at a handful, and nabbed zero jobs. Zilch.

This turn of events is frustrating for a multitude of reasons. Let me share a a few tudes of them right now.

1. I am 26 years old. I should have a full-time job in my career by now. In fact, about 5 years ago I thought my 26-year old self would be producing movies and living in a cute bungalow in Burbank or Toluca Lake with my puppy Beatrice, taking weekend road trips in my convertible Thunderbird to exotic locales like Napa Valley. Instead, I produce blog posts and live with my parents in the same city where I grew up, trying to stay away from my slightly insane cat and taking weekend trips to the movies.

2. I have been told that I am a competent teacher. I definitely have room for improvement and growth, but at least my students have fun learning--and learn they do. If I am that competent, why are these schools hiring teachers who have been out of the teaching loop for years or who are simply part of the Good Ol' Boys Club. Give a new gal a chance, folks. She might surprise you.

3. I am comfortable teaching. I ENJOY teaching. This will be my career, and I have trained accordingly. It's not like I'm applying to be an administrative assistant; this is where I BELONG.

4. I want to go to grad school next year to pursue a Phd (a post about this coming soon). If I can't get a full-time job this year, I will have some serious cash-flow/debt problems to deal with during the upcoming years of starving-student status.

In light of the afore-mentioned ZILCH, I am attempting to build up an online presence so that when I get that next interview, the principal's Google search for Ashley Benning will show him that I am continually learning and growing.

I have also created an online portfolio for teaching. Take a look and tell me what you think.

I'm hoping to also create an online writing portfolio before I start querying my novel so that agents will be amazed by my internet-savvy (or something like that).

Sneak Peek Reviews of MY BOOK!

2010-09-02T20:30:00.000-07:00

I wrote a novel last year (well, over the past two years) and have sent it out to several sets of readers.

I wish I could explain how terrifying it was to place copies of two-years' worth of my life into someone else's hands, and then ask them to criticize it. "Here. Please rip this apart as best you can, let me know all of its most major faults, and then decide whether you think I've wasted the last two years of my life or if you think there is something in this ream of paper that could pass for literature. Be gentle with me but--more importantly-- be honest. 'Kay, thanks."

From the time those Kinko's-bound pieces of ambition leave your hands until you get a response from a reader is an eternity. You begin to question yourself. Am I crazy? Did I even write anything, or was it all in my head and I in fact handed my reader a stack of papers with crayon drawings? Is it too derivative? Does it sound like a 6-year old wrote it? Did I accidentally steal a scene from Star Wars? I knew I shouldn't have named those soldiers Storm Troopers. And having the heroine braid her hair into large buns over her ears might have been going too far. And then you spiral deeper into self-doubt. Will my friends look at me differently after this? Now that they know what a twisted place my mind is? Have I now "opened my mouth and removed all doubt" as to my lack of intelligence? Will they wonder how I can walk and talk at the same time? Or worse, will they shield me from the truth and smile politely and tell me "It's great!" and then always leave me wondering what else they've lied to me about?

Do you see the torture?

Anyway, the point of this rambling, tangential, post is to share the giddiness I am feeling as reviews of my book are coming in. Granted, the people reading my story are friends. I didn't give the book to anyone I don't know fairly well. BUT, I also made sure to give the book to people that would be honest with me.

Well, I've finally gotten some feedback from my readers and, while I won't tell you anything else about the story YET (soon, I promise!), I will share with you the happy feedback I've gotten because I love sharing happy things. There were lots of really logical and legitimate concerns my readers brought up (which I really appreciated and acted upon accordingly), but they also said these exciting things:

"Your book was great! I freaking loved it. I finished it days ago and it's still on my mind. I have found myself wanting to go back and reread it (since I can't read the sequel yet...) I give it two thumbs up!"

"James is hot!" (James is one of the love interests)

"Your beginning surpasses that of Hunger Games." (NOTE: This was written by someone who had only gotten through the beginning of my story, but who also disliked Hunger Games... Make of it what you will. I'm choosing to take it as a happy comment.)

Who was your favorite character? "James. I heart him is all." And another: "James, because I am falling in love with him already."

"It was really amazing. I stayed up until 2:00 am to finish it last night!! I couldn't put it down! I need the second one NOW!!"

At a time when I am getting rejected every day as I apply for jobs, and when I am starting to question myself (is my degree worth ANYTHING? Am I so undesirable that not a single school will take me on as a teacher?), these reviews have bolstered me with warm fuzzies. Hooray!

Beatrice and Benedick, Elizabeth and Darcy: The Same?

2010-09-02T15:00:00.000-07:00

Midsummer Magazine, the official publication of the Utah Shakespearean Festival, had an interesting article in this years edition regarding the similarities between the lovers in Much Ado and those in Pride and Prejudice. Check out the article here on page 10. Basically, Ace. G. Pilkington draws some remarkable parallels between the two sets of quarreling lovers, quoting one of the original reviewers of P and P, who said of Elizabeth "She is in fact the Beatrice of the tale; and falls in love on much the same principles of contrariety" (20).

I found this juxtaposition interesting because I've always loved these two sets of lovers, and yet I never thought to compare them. They are, in fact, so similar that I feel like a complete idiot not thinking about it sooner. You should definitely read Pilkington's article to get the full scope of the argument, but I'll offer you a list of similarities to munch on:

Beatrice and Elizabeth are always thinking about their men, though they rarely voice their thoughts.
Benedick and Beatrice are tricked through the machinations of Don Pedro into allowing their love to grow; Darcy must deal with the teasing of Caroline Bingley ("When am I to wish you joy?")
Beatrice's cousin is slandered/undone and Benedick must come to her aid; Elizabeth's sister is "ruined" and Darcy saves her.
Each set of lovers has a more innocent counterpart: Hero and Claudio, and Jane and Bingley.
Dogberry and Collins provide the comic relief.

I'm going to copy Pilkington's last paragraph here because it sums everything up so well. Please don't sue me, Mr. Pilkington!

So, Shakespeare and Jane Austen have given us what we wanted and by almost all the laws of the writing of fiction could never have. Here are two lovers in two stories who will not admit their love, two wits who will not bridle their cleverness, two dominant personalities who cannot be tamed or even temporarily silenced. they are two of the unlikeliest candidates for the happy ending of a peaceful wedding ever put between the covers of a book of onto a stage. We are likely to agree with Leonato's judgment early in the play, "O Lord, my lord, if they were but a week married, they would talk themselves mad" (2.1.330-331). But things change, and we have Beatrice saying to Benedick, "I love you with so much of my heart that there is none left to protest" (4.1.285-286). And if that seems to sweet to carry conviction, here are Elizabeth's words to Darcy, "To be sure, you know no actual good of me-- but nobody thinks of that when they fall in love" (Austen 308). And perhaps that touch of realism is the very last piece of the answer as to why these two love stories have worked so well and been enjoyed for so long by so many.

What do you think? Is it too much of a stretch? Do you see other similarities not mentioned here? Come on, guys; I want to hear from you!

Stay tuned for an upcoming post comparing Jane Eyre (my fave!) to another popular story. Ooh... is the anticipation killing you? :)

A very ancient and fish-like smell.

2010-09-01T10:00:00.000-07:00

I meant to post about this weeks ago, but traveling and summer reading would not allow it.

HEAR THIS: Helen Mirren is playing Prospero in the latest movie adaptation of The Tempest, set to drop in December.

That's right. Helen. Mirren. is. Prospero.

This woman:

Will be this:

I'm having a lot of trouble containing my glee. Tempest is one of my least-favorite Shakespeare plays, but with Helen Mirren leading the cast of EXQUISITE actors, I am sure I will change my tune. Mirren is joined by Alfred Molina (be still my heart), Russel Brand (wtf!?), Djimon Honsou, David Straithern, Chris Cooper...

*sigh* This is nerd bliss, ladies and gentlemen.

I believe Tempest will debut at Venice in September with a US release of December 10.

Writing Resources

2010-08-31T17:34:00.000-07:00

I just finished updating the Writing Resources page. Go check it out if you are at all interesting in writing, reading, publishing, editing, books, paper, bookstores, authors, or... uh.... words.

Blog Construction

2010-08-31T13:51:00.000-07:00

I've had the same blog template for the entire time I've had this blog, so I thought it was time for an update. I'm still not sure I'm going to stick with this one, but let's let it be for now.

As a result of the blog overhaul, many of the previous posts are going to be sloppy. Hang in there! I'll fix it up.

Also, you people in Russia and the UK who are stopping by: Who are you? Nice to have you with us.

FOR THE COMMENTS: What do you think of the new design? Too busy? Love it?

What's Done is Done.

2010-08-27T15:16:00.000-07:00

This blog post will read somewhat like a travelogue (travel log?), but I will follow up with a more literary post soon. Be on the lookout because I want to hear from you regarding some Shakespeare and Austen topics.

Laura's time in LA finally came to an end and we left on Sunday to get her moved into her new Provo apartment and set up for the new school year. The 6-hour drive took us to Cedar City, where we stayed at a run-of-the-mill Best Western about a mile from the Cedar City Shakespearean Festival. We spent two days hiking/walking in the nearby hills and attending plays (Some Shakespearean, some not).

Our walks took us here:

and here:

Our first two plays were The 39 Steps and Much Ado About Nothing. David Ivers played a clown in 39 and Benedick in Much Ado and Laura and I decided he was our new favorite actor. Here's a video of him doing a spot for the Denver Center (his home base):

Here's a link to the announcement that he would be one of the new Shakespearean Festival artistic Directors.

The next day, we saw Pride and Prejudice and Macbeth. Now, I've studied Macbeth, I've taught it, I've seen filmed productions, but I have never EXPERIENCED it. This production, starring Kymberly Mellen as Lady Macbeth (she also played Beatrice in Much Ado) was phenomenal. My heart was pounding, I was crying, I was anxious and devastated and depressed. It was amazing. Here's a montage video from the festival:

Laura and I were both sad to wake up on Wednesday and realize we had to leave the Bard, but her apartment wasn't going to move itself in! So we drove the 2.5 hours to Provo and lugged all of her stuff into her room.

Her apartment is adorable, new, and shared with three lovely gals (one of whom works at a cupcake shop!). She will have a fantastic year, I am sure. We ended our road trip with a day in Salt Lake City where we visited King's English to purchase our copies of Mockingjay, ate a fantastic lunch across the street at Caputo's, and then dropped by the U of U campus to research the Phd program and take a look at the library. We topped off the day with some amahzing frozen yogurt at Red Mango, and then Laura took me to the airport and we said goodbye.

Right now, I am grateful for sisters, new experiences, and the wonderful gift of Shakespeare.

In which I discuss plastic surgery, the revision process, and perfection...

2010-08-12T13:56:00.000-07:00

**Look for my question for you at the end of the post!**

If you've been following me on Twitter, Facebook, or here on Busy Nothings, you probably know that I recently finished writing a novel. Actually...FINISHED is a loaded word. I recently found a good stopping point in my story, which turned out to be at the 80,000th word. I am now attempting to FINISH it.

What the heck am I talking about? REVISION. It's the word that makes my students hide under their desks in panic. More work? How can this be so? I have already spent a year writing every blasted word of this novel-- hitting my head against the wall to come up with the perfect phrasing, the most expressive dialogue-- and now you tell me I have to make it BETTER?

Cue internal monologue:

Yes, Ashley. It must be better.

But that means re-reading, changing characters, creating new ones, slicing out old ones with a word processing machete, watching delicate plot threads crumple to the ground, painstakingly weaving new threads in their places. I tell ye, I don' know how much more she can take, cap'n! It's merciless, gory, destructive.... word death.

Yes, Ashley. But it is also a chance for new creation, for innovation, for tightening and shaping. For giving your manuscript a massive dose of plastic surgery. She'll still be the same story, she'll just look better. All those cancerous moles and warts? Removed. All those extra appendages? Gone! That really rough patch of skin? Cleansed. That extra fat that has been weighing her down? Sucked out! She might even get some extra plumping up in certain areas.

But I've seen some serious plastic surgery nightmares. I don't want my baby to end up with stuffing in all the wrong places and her best features removed!

Ashley: You won't let that happen. You know your baby too well. You know--deep down-- that there are parts that have to go, parts that need better support, parts that need tweaking. You can do it!

Such was my initial thought process. And then I got into the revisions and realized that I actually LIKE revising. I'm having fun making dialogue more realistic, giving characters better motivations, adding descriptions where there were none before, and ripping out those scenes that I always knew were story vomit.

And then it hit me: I like revision because it actually works! The story is definitely getting better! I might like revisions as much as I like the first day of writing a new story.

Can I revise forever? Probably. Is it a good idea? I don't think so. At some point, you have to let your baby out into the world of agents and publishers. I hear of some authors who revise for weeks, some for months, and some for years. For me, the thought of years of revisions frightens me. I think I would lose the special connection with my story. I'm happy with 6 drafts and a few months of final revisions, thank you very much.

Here's a question for you guys: Are you a perfectionist with your work (revising, fixing, crafting until it is absolutely perfect)? Or are you the type of person who can be content with "good enough?" How has this characteristic helped/hurt you in life?

A new toy so I can get ANOTHER new toy...

2010-08-05T19:42:00.000-07:00

I have this friend, Mary Ann, who I like for lots of reasons. These reasons shift in importance depending on the awesomeness of the various things she does. Right now, her #1 quality--in my book-- is her willingness to buy international air tickets spontaneously. I was spending lazy time on the American Airlines mileage rewards site and discovered that I could use my miles to head out England-way for Thanksgiving. (I'm one of those people who secretly wishes we had never fought for independence because I just love that darn Queen so much.) I mentioned the availability of mileage options to Mary Ann and within hours we had booked our flights. I don't flatter myself that she was Speedy Gonzales at her computer because she wanted to spend Thanksgiving week with me. No, I know that she just needed a good enough excuse to go to England, and I gave that to her. But I digress...

If you give an Ashley a trip to England, she'll want a camera to go with it. My digital camera died when I went to London and Paris in 2007, and I haven't yet replaced it. That means I've spent two trips to England, a summer at Forks and Twicon, and my entire existence in Arizona without a camera. Having gone to film school, I actually know how to use a camera pretty effectively, which makes my camera-less existence even more vexing. However, this is soon to be remedied. I have fallen in love. With this camera:

It is the Canon Rebel T1i, and it is magnificence in plastic.

This baby not only has 15 megapixels, but also shoots HD video. Yeah. I want. The 3" LCD screen ain't bad either. However, this puppy is going to set me back about $1000 once I've bought the lenses I need (okay, "want," but let's not quibble about semantics). Yea, and a case to put it into (please tell me you know Much Ado About Nothing...). Even though my plane tickets to London are only costing me the $150 in taxes and fees for my miles, I'm still not quite sure I can justify a $1000 camera.

Or can I?

In the grand fashion of murdering multitudes of flying animals with rocky objects, I am going to set a goal to accomplish and then reward myself for reaching it with.... uh... a camera! Yeah!

Which brings me to my second obsession: my new FitBook.

Like so many young college students, I gained some significant chunkiness when I went away to school. That was 8 years ago, though, and it's time to get the last of it off of my body. Enough is enough, already. The Fitbook is exactly what I needed: It's a way for me to log my exercise routine, set weekly goals for myself, monitor my meals and digestion, and get me into some better habits. I'm into week 2 right now, and I've been able to stick to the plan pretty well. The Fitbook monitors 12 weeks, so I still have 10 to go, but I am feeling so energized!

The plan is: lose the weight (or get my BMI where I want it) by the time the 12 weeks are up in early October, and then buy the camera as a reward.

IN OTHER NEWS: I'm slated to keep substitute teaching in the fall for Las Virgenes Unified School District, but I apply to other full-time teaching positions in the local area every day. I don't suppose any of the rest of you have noticed that the economy isn't doing so well right now, have you? Jobs are difficult to come by, and I'm just grateful I have parents who are allowing me to stay at home until I can get my career started.

They say the best thing one can do when there are no available jobs is to get more education. I'm not sure who "they" think they are, but I'm inclined to believe them. So, I'm planning to apply to literature Phd programs this fall for a 2011 enrollment. Cross your fingers for me! I would so love to teach college lit. *sigh*

The book is in it's 4th draft (or draught, if we are being British) and I'm hoping to start querying agents in the fall. Hope can be so wonderfully unrealistic sometimes, can't it? I've ordered a copy of the Writer's Market 2011, which I guess means I'm getting serious about this crazy pastime of mine.

I've booked a hotel room for LeakyCon 2011 because yes, I am that geeky. In case you were in confusion as to the extent of my geekiness, I am also hoping to present a paper at the Con and volunteer with the academic programming. You're jealous. Admit it.

Other than that, nothing else to report. Books I'm hoping to read over the next few weeks: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Wide Sargasso Sea, and The Help. Laura and I are heading to the Cedar City Shakespeare Festival in a few weeks, and I'll get a review up for you guys shortly thereafter. Hope you are having a fantastically relaxing summer!

What's Ashley Reading: Pachyderm Edition

2010-07-13T15:11:00.000-07:00

As promised, BOOK REVIEW #2:
This past weekend, I read Water for Elephants by Sarah Gruen. It was all the rage last year when it was newly on the New York Times Bestseller List, but I didn't pay much attention because I was in the middle of about a hundred other books. I got more interested when I found out that the author, Sarah Gruen, wrote much of Water for Elephants for NaNoWriMo. If you don't know what NaNoWriMo is, the official website is here, or you can see my posts on my participation in it here. How awesome is that!? Then my mom read it and told me she didn't like it. So I put it on the back-burner until now. Again, my paperback copy came from Bookman's, a.k.a. BEST STORE EVER.

Here's the product description from Amazon:

As a young man, Jacob Jankowski was tossed by fate onto a rickety train that was home to the Benzini Brothers Most Spectacular Show on Earth. It was the early part of the great Depression, and for Jacob, now ninety, the circus world he remembers was both his salvation and a living hell. A veterinary student just shy of a degree, he was put in charge of caring for the circus menagerie. It was there that he met Marlena, the beautiful equestrian star married to August, the charismatic but twisted animal trainer. And he met Rosie, an untrainable elephant who was the great gray hope for this third-rate traveling show. The bond that grew among this unlikely trio was one of love and trust, and, ultimately, it was their only hope for survival.

I've gotta be honest with you; this book had me hooked by the end of the first chapter. Gruen's characters are real and unique and quirky, and her attention to detail when depicting a Depression-Era circus really makes you feel like you are on the train and in the tents with the performers and workers.

But don't delude yourself into thinking this is a quaint story about elephants and horses and glittery costumes and cotton candy. There's a murder in the very first chapter, explicit sexual content, foul-mouthed characters, and some pretty intense scenes resulting in lots of bruises and broken limbs for many characters. It's also strangely a commentary on twenty-first century assisted living facilities (the narrator is "90, or 93, years old"). Go figure.

Overall, I highly recommend this book to anyone who can stomach the aforementioned adult content. Seriously, this is not a book to miss. I'll leave you with a quote from Parade magazine. Water for Elephants is "Gritty, sensual and charged with dark secrets involving love, murder and a majestic, mute heroine."

By the way, Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon are currently in production of the film adaptation of this book, slated for a 2011 release. If Robert shows any more emotion in this movie than he does in Twilight (a probability considering the smile on his face in this pic), I think he will be a perfect Jacob. And Reese Witherspoon, though older than her character, will be a spectacular Marlena.

What's Ashley Reading: Italy, India, Indonesia Edition

2010-07-13T14:37:00.000-07:00

It has been quite a while since my last book review and I blame it on a few things. First, I've been rereading some of my favorite books lately, so I have nothing new to report. Second, I was student teaching for the past five months, so I was focused on lesson planning and grading instead of finding awesome books to read. Third, we had a Congressional campaign to run, so I spent most of my time reading blogs and online news instead of fiction.

But I'm finally back to reading, and I've got a DOUBLE FEATURE for you today. That's right, I'm reviewing TWO books. 'Cause that's how I roll. However, I think it'll be more reader-friendly if I do it in two posts.

REVIEW #1: Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

I had seen the one-sheets for the movie adaptation of this novel at many of the local theaters months ago, but never paid it much attention. The artwork didn't really say much about what to expect from the story.

Then I saw that Julia Roberts was going to star and I took another look. After all, that chick doesn't mess around. I picked up a used paperback copy in Mesa at Bookman's (God's gift to cheapskate book lovers) and read the back. From The New Yorker:

At the age of thirty-one, Gilbert moved with her husband to the suburbs of New York and began trying to get pregnant, only to realize that she wanted neither a child nor a husband. Three years later, after a protracted divorce, she embarked on a yearlong trip of recovery, with three main stops: Rome, for pleasure (mostly gustatory, with a special emphasis on gelato); an ashram outside of Mumbai, for spiritual searching; and Bali, for "balancing." These destinations are all on the beaten track, but Gilbert's exuberance and her self-deprecating humor enliven the proceedings: recalling the first time she attempted to speak directly to God, she says, "It was all I could do to stop myself from saying, 'I've always been a big fan of your work.'"

As someone who adores travel--though not quite to the extent Gilbert does-- I thought, why not? So I gave Eat, Pray, Love a shot.

It's an easy read though can be emotionally draining. I loved Gilbert's voice; she really connects with you and her humility and openness really allows you to accept her as a friend. However, she has some serious issues to deal with--divorce, depression, abstinence (or lack thereof), unemployment, low-self-esteem, etc.-- and she makes you follow her on the extremely bumpy road to recovery. However, the end is so victorious that you can't help but feel changed yourself. It won't be a book I will read again, but I'm glad I took the time to travel to Italy, India, and Indonesia with Gilbert. I am also interested to read her follow-up novel, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage, in which she chronicles her new foray into the world of wedded bliss.

Bottom Line: A good, summer book, particularly if read on the beach when you have nothing but free time on your hands. Also fantastic if you are going through a rough time and looking for inspiration on how to cope.

Here's the trailer for the movie:

And for your listening enjoyment...

2010-07-08T13:10:00.000-07:00

My new favorite song, for your listening pleasure:

THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN!

2010-07-08T12:31:00.000-07:00

THREE MONTHS? Unacceptable. Granted, my dad WAS running for Congress and I WAS finishing student teaching. But now, I'm back!

There are so many things I could talk about, but frankly many of them aren't fun. I could talk about winning the election by 366 votes and four weeks later LOSING by 39. But that just makes me angry. OR, I could talk about finishing my novel and sending it out to readers. But that just makes me anxious.

I know: Let's discuss the latest Twilight film. It would be a good way for me to delve back into the blogosphere.

I followed David Slade on Twitter during the filming and post, and he seemed to be perfect for the job: a little edgy, funky, artsy... I figured he'd perfectly capture one of my favorite books in the series. And he did... sort of.

Before I go on, I should probably point to you Maggie Parke's post re: the film. She and I see eye-to-eye on most things Twilight, but I'll talk about a few other things as well. For comparison purposes, I'll follow Maggie's general outline.

STORY: Yes, Melissa Rosenberg is a miracle worker. More happens in Eclipse--in my opinion--- than in any of the other books, and Rosenberg did a fantastic job of incorporating all the major plot points smoothly. I thought it was brilliant to delve further into the newborn world as she did. How she fit Florida, the birds-and-the-bees, the proposal, three flashbacks, graduation, the tent scene, the bed scene, the leg-hitch, the punch, the kiss, and the fight into a 2 hour movie is beyond me. And I agree with Maggie, her original one-liners are a fantastic bridge between what the readers know and what the movie-goers need. (I think we discussed this topic at our Adaptations panel at TwiCon as well. And that was when only ONE movie was out. I wish we could go back and discuss again. I have so much more to say!) And I LOVE Bella's monologue at the end in which she reveals that yes, she wants to change so she can be with Edward forever, but--and this is CRUCIAL to our understanding of just about everything Bella has done and will do-- she wants to change for HERSELF. She has found where she belongs, where she can shine. I always secretly attributed those emotions to her in my own head, but to hear Bella verbalize it with Rosenberg's words really deepened Bella's character and motivations. ROCK ON, ROSENBERG.

Side note: Did any of you feel that the movie Bella did not seem as torn between Edward and Jacob as the book Bella is? She's not too hot on Jacob in the movie...

ACTING: But here's where it breaks down. As fantastic as Rosenberg's script is, for some reason those bloody actors refuse to project the range of motion that MY Edward, Bella, and Jacob showed me in my head. Bella: get angry at Edward for lying to you! That sucked! Edward: try having fun once in a while. If you frown forever your face'll stick that way. Jacob: You are the most annoying person ever to plague the earth. Act like it! Get cocky! And all of you: STOP MUMBLING!

That being said, I agree that ALL the actors have grown tremendously since Twilight; I appreciate Rob and Kristen's attempt at playfulness in the meadow scenes, I adore Nikki and Jackson for stepping up to the plate, and the cast has become so comfortable with each other that they feel like family. But some levity and spontaneity would be lovely.

SCORE: Here's where I'm going to deviate from Maggie's outline. I agree with her on the wardrobe/hair issues, and basically everything else. But here's what it comes down to for me: the score. I left Eclipse feeling unfulfilled, as if it had potential but somehow didn't reach it. It took me a while to figure it out, but I finally realized that Howard Shore's score just simply didn't resonate with me. It was too simple and unemotional. Let's compare, shall we?

In Alexandre Desplat's New Moon score, we get themes for the Volturi (The Volturi Waltz), Edward and Bella (Romeo and Juliet), Bella and Jacob (I Need You). And all of these themes pop up in other tracks, weaving the storylines together subconsciously. These songs are rich and full but drag you into the melancholy and inevitability of the plot. Love and loss; pain and recovery; danger and safety; all of these juxtaposing themes are present in Desplat's score. Add to that the soundtrack, with such awesome choices as "Possibility" by Lykke Li for the "passage of time" sequence. Ideal.

The Eclipse soundtrack is a completely different animal. For one thing, Shore worked with Metric to write their song, Eclipse, the main theme of which is in the final meadow scene (Wedding Plans). I love that idea. Way to go, Shore and Metric. But beyond that, the themes seem flat to me. Check out "Jacob Black," for example. Makes Jacob sound like a sad 10 year old instead of the complex and tormented boy-trapped-in-adult-situations-and-mature-body that he is. Listen to a few of the songs and you'll hear the difference I'm talking about.

But just to be clear: I'm only talking about the score, here. The soundtrack is absolutely brilliant. I listen to it on repeat every day.

MISC: A few other details... Fight scene was great, if short; effects were fantastic; the Volvo tie-in campaign is brilliant (have ANY of you gotten to the Cullen house yet?); and Anna Kendrick is phenomenal in everything she does. Full stop.

Thoughts?

Amazon.com Widgets

What's Ashley Reading: Jenna Fox Edition

2010-04-19T09:43:00.000-07:00

Reading has become a luxury over the past two months, but I have managed to fit in a few books here and there. While in Salt Lake to visit Laura over Easter weekend, we stopped at The King's English, my favorite bookstore. I chatted with the fabulous book mavens and told them about some books I have recently read that I loved-- Hunger Games, City of Bones, Twilight, etc.-- and one of the gurus directed me to The Adoration of Jenna Fox, by Mary E. Pearson. From Amazon.com:

Seventeen-year-old Jenna Fox awakens after more than a year in a coma to find herself in a life—and a body—that she doesn't quite recognize. Her parents tell her that she's been in an accident, but much of her past identity and current situation remain a mystery to her: Why has her family abruptly moved from Boston to California, leaving all of her personal belongings behind? Why does her grandmother react to her with such antipathy? Why have her parents instructed her to make sure not to tell anyone about the circumstances of their move? And why can Jenna recite whole passages of Thoreau's Walden, but remember next to nothing of her own past? As she watches family videos of her childhood, strange memories begin to surface, and she slowly realizes that a terrible secret is being kept from her.

This book is a short, easy read and some of the minor characters don't get the flushing out they deserve, but overall I found it an intriguing plot. How far is too far to save the person you love? At what point have you created someone else entirely? And can you still be the same person you once were if you have no memories?

I would love to chat about this book with someone else so I hope some of you read it and then get in touch with me. I told my eighth graders about it and I think some of them might pick it up.

Right now I'm reading the complete Sherlock Holmes and Small Island by Andrea Levy, which has just been made into a Masterpiece Classic. More on those later...

From the Mouths of Babes: A Dialogue About Redistributing Wealth

2010-04-15T09:36:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a while since my last post; with student teaching and Benning for Congress, it's been difficult to find the time to put my thoughts onto paper. But today I had an interesting discussion with a sixth grade class that I simply had to share.

I was filling in for a teacher this morning and she asked me to intro Steinbeck's The Red Pony with a brief overview of the Great Depression. Of course, my students couldn't help but draw the connection to our current recession. Many students shared stories of their parents being out of work and searching for employment. We then talked about the Communist Party's (somewhat feeble) attempt to overthrow capitalism during the 1930s. I was very cautious to remain as neutral as possible with my comments, and found myself frequently arguing the side of the communist in order for students to see both sides of the issue. Conversation then turned to redistribution of wealth and our current President's viewpoint.

I have never seen a group of students more outraged.

"Why would anyone bother becoming a doctor or lawyer? You'd probably make more money doing nothing!"

"That's not fair! Some people go to school for a really long time for their jobs. They should be allowed to make more money."

"That's stealing! You can't take someone's money just because they have a lot of it. It's still their money! They earned it!"

I can honestly say that I did my darnedest to make sure these students couldn't tell which side of the issue I was on. I told the students to go home and discuss the matter with their parents; I think there are quite a few Democrat parents out there who are going to get an earful from their conservative kids tonight over dinner!

We discussed the need to provide aid for those who are less fortunate. At first, the students blamed the homeless for simply being lazy (after all, these kids are told on a daily basis that doing well in school will equal future success), but we discussed mental illness, drug addiction (which the students pointed out started as a choice), and simply the state of the economy. Almost unanimously, the students believed that mandatory charity-giving (through taxation) was far less desirable and effective than keeping taxes low and allowing people to give of their own volition.

These students-- with their acute sense of what's "fair"-- want to follow their dreams and reap the fruits of that labor without being penalized for their savvy and work ethic. In other words, this group of 12 year olds from mostly liberal households believed that the best way to run this country was through lower taxes and allowing capitalism to flourish. From the mouths of babes...

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness

2010-02-20T22:17:00.000-08:00

LIFE-- What I've been up to:
It has been 6 weeks since my last blog entry. Why has it been 6 weeks? Because I have entered the world of student teaching. My days are spent teaching 6th and 8th graders how to read and write, and my evenings are spent planning how to teach 6th and 8th graders how to read and write.

I have not touched my novel in 3 weeks.
I got a mediocre haircut.
I visited Arizona for two days.

And that's all, ladies and gentlemen. I haven't done anything else with my time. I am a little bitter about this use of the past 6 weeks of my life because I have had almost no time for myself. However, all is not lost, and I have confidence I will find myself again soon. (See Pursuit of Happiness for more.)

LIBERTY-- Life on the Campaign Trail:
The Benning for Congress campaign has been moving forward. We recently ran a Tele-Town Hall conference call during which a message was left on thousands of answering machines and over 2,000 callers listened in and participated in the conference. My dad did a great job answering questions and introducing himself to the community. Although we have not seen an increase in campaign donations (something we are in need of right now), we believe it was a worthwhile investment and will result in name recognition and perhaps some volunteers.

My dad is currently at CPAC in Washington D.C. and is enjoying the energy boost and the stellar line-up of speakers (Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Glenn Beck). Once he returns, we will start our push toward the June primary election. We're looking for volunteers and donations, so if you can help in any way please sign up at our website: www.benningforcongress.com. If Henry Waxman is your favorite guy, disregard this blog post. Otherwise, we need your help!

PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS-- Finding ME:
I was finally starting to feel like I had found myself just before I started student teaching. A month later, I am wondering where I went? I miss me! So, I am making some resolutions. First, I will keep up with my physical activities (usually hitting the gym or walking around my neighborhood). Exercise helps the brain, right? I will not sacrifice brain activity for an extra hour of lesson planning. Second: I will find time a few days a week to practice the guitar. I had been playing daily prior to student teaching and it was so calming. Must start that up again. Third: I will NOT give up on my writing just because I have some grading to do. Those tests can sit there for another day; it's not going to kill anyone. My novel bloody well won't write itself, will it? And I didn't come this far with it to give up now. No, I am a WHOLE person-- not a robot teacher.

I refuse to sell my soul to the time-sucking devil of teaching. As much as I love working with my students, I love ME more; the ME I was just getting to know before this crazy experiment in indentured servitude began. That me was calm and creative, not frantic and fatigued.

Oh god of student teaching, as Jane Eyre said, "Do you think I am an automaton? — a machine without feelings? And can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my cup? Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong!" I need my creativity and my freedom, my art and my friends. I cannot live in obscurity, wasting away to the slave of the red pen. I may not have loads of money (actually any money) or a jam-packed social life, but my time is my own. It is precious. It is priceless. It is mine. I stand with William Wallace and shout with every fiber of my being: FREEDOM!

What's Ashley Reading: Maze Runner Edition

2010-01-03T18:48:00.000-08:00

*Disclaimer: I am not a published author. I may never be one. The critique you see below is not me saying "I'm better than a published author" or anything like that. I'm simply commenting on my experience as a reader. I have great respect for any published author, Mr. Dashner included.

Imagine you wake up one morning and find yourself in a large, roofless, metal container. It bumps and jolts as it moves—your instincts tell you upward—and you can’t remember how you got there. A few minutes later, the box is engulfed in sunlight, it creaks to a halt, and the walls fall away. You are now in a large meadow, of sorts, and are surrounded by silent peers who simply stand there in anticipation of something, though you can’t imagine what. A moment later, one of the voyeurs steps toward you and asks your name. Without hesitation, you answer. But then you realize that your name is the only thing you know about yourself. You can’t remember anything about your pre-box life, you can’t remember how old you are, you can’t even remember what the world is like beyond your metal cubicle.

This is how Maze Runner, by James Dashner, begins. It is a somewhat apocalyptic thriller in which Thomas, a teenage boy, finds himself delivered via box to the Glade, a small settlement inhabited by other box boys. The Glade would be a paradise if it weren’t for the nocturnal monsters and the slightly disturbing reality that the Glade resides in the center of a large maze with moving walls.

From the publisher:

The Gladers were expecting Thomas’s arrival. But the next day, a girl is sent up—the first girl ever to arrive in the Glade. And more surprising yet is the message she delivers. The Gladers have always been convinced that if they can solve the maze that surrounds the Glade, they might find their way home…wherever that may be. But it’s looking more and more as if the Maze is unsolvable. And something about the girl’s arrival is starting to make Thomas feel different. Something is telling him that he just might have some answers--if he can only find a way to retrieve the dark secrets locked within his own mind.

Based on this synopsis, I expected Maze Runner to be a two-three day read. It reminded me of Hunger Games with a touch of Michael Crichton. One month later, I finally finished Maze Runner. That’s right: ONE MONTH. It’s not a particularly long book. The vocabulary is not notably high. I did not go into a coma for any length of time in December. There is no excuse for this particular reading experience to have taken so long.

So, why did it? The simple answer is that I didn’t like the story and characters enough to give them priority. I read 5 other books while I was trudging through Maze Runner. I feel like Dashner had a great “What if” but executed it poorly. The Gladers are not likeable—or hateable for that matter, the writing style is juvenile and occasionally downright poor, and the story lacks substance.

HOWEVER, about 2/3 of the way through the monotony, Dashner found his story, his rhythm, and his characters. I won’t say I hung on his every suspenseful word from then on, but I will say that the book went from mediocre to interesting. I found I actually cared about Thomas and the girl and I was worried about their survival. And Dashner throws in a surprisingly gripping denouement that provides a substantial foundation for the upcoming sequels. If he continues in book 2 with the same writing style that ended book 1, I am sure book 2 will be a three-day read.

A little self-reflection: This book was recommended to me by a 14 year-old friend. He is not a particularly voracious reader, but he has recently read a few books that sparked his interest and is passionate about those stories he does enjoy. He is not one to finish a book simply for the sake of finishing it; he will gladly put aside any book that doesn’t catch and hold his attention. Therefore, I was convinced Maze Runner would be exciting and well-written. When that wasn’t the case, I began to wonder what created this disparity between my expectations and reality. And then it dawned on me: I could not relate to the characters—teenaged boys with rough manners and a love of made-up swear words—the same way my fourteen year-old friend could.

My question for you, dear Reader, is this: Have you ever simultaneously loved a book and disliked ALL the characters? Is it even possible?

What's Ashley Reading: Baker Street Edition

2009-12-23T09:01:00.000-08:00

Approximately 7 hours ago (that’s 1:30 am this morning) I finished a real treat of a book. It’s called The Beekeeper’s Apprentice and it’s by Laurie R. King. The story is told from the point of view of Mary Russell, a young woman living in England during the Great War. She has recently been orphaned and is spending time at her family’s country house—under the supervision of her cranky aunt—until she comes of age and can go to Oxford. On one of her daily rambles, during which she became a bit too engrossed in the Latin text she had brought along, she stumbles—quite literally—upon a man sitting in the grass observing the bees. This man, my dear friends, is the recently-retired Sherlock Holmes. What starts as a happenstance meeting—a “meet-cute,” if you will—turns into a deep and lasting friendship that would bring Holmes back to life and show Russell her true calling.

Here’s the summary from the publisher:

The young Mary Russell displays an intellect to impress even Sherlock Holmes—and match him wit for wit. Under his reluctant tutelage, this very modern twentieth-century woman proves a deft protégée and a fitting partner for the Victorian detective. In their first case together, they must track down a kidnapped American senator’s daughter and confront a truly cunning adversary—a bomber who has set trip wires for the sleuths and who will stop at nothing to end their partnership. Full of brilliant deductions, disguises, and dangers…

From reading this, you might be led to believe that the story is a mystery, a detective thriller. There is sleuthing, to be sure. But for me, the true beauty of this book lays (lies?) in the delicate relationship formed between the two main characters. They are teacher/pupil, father/daughter, best friends, soul mates, intellectual matches, and—it can’t be ignored—man and woman. This last juxtaposition is perhaps the most interesting as the Victorian Holmes must learn that brains can come in feminine packages (although Russell is not exactly the most feminine of women) and the power struggle between the mentor and mentee is inextricably tied to Holmes ideals of the sexes. In the words of our current president, let me be clear: there is no sexual desire between Russell and Holmes. Rather, the sexual tension is placed upon them from the outside by society. And they use it to their advantage when needed.

Another noteworthy aspect of this literary gem is the voice; Russell’s diction, tone, knowledge base, and humor create an endearing narration for her story. I’m not sure if all readers would agree with me, but I found that I felt as if I was speaking with a dear friend. Russell and I shared MANY laughs, but her story is also bitter at times, and I cried for her and for Holmes on more than one occasion. This is one of those books that makes me wish the characters were real so I could call them on the phone, ask them questions, confide in them. I found myself thinking about Russell and Holmes daily, in a “What would Holmes do?” way. When Russell and Holmes were going through their darkest and scariest of emotional lows, I wanted to rush to Sussex and Oxford and hug both of my friends.

With the movie opening in two days, I wonder how my reading of The Beekeeper’s Apprentice will skew my perception of Robert Downey Jr.’s Holmes. Don’t get me wrong: I am sure the movie will be entertaining. But I think I’ll also be missing Russell in the mix. Luckily for me there are more books in the Mary Russell series so I can go back to the Sussex Downs soon. I’m excited to see where Russell and Holmes will go from here. I'm also looking forward to reading Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's original Holmes stories. I read Hound of the Baskervilles years ago and enjoyed it, but I never got around to reading the others.

Questions for the comments: Do you have a favorite Holmes story? What are your expectations for the upcoming movie? Am I the only person in the world who talks to fictional characters?

What's Ashley Reading: Wonderland Edition

2009-12-14T14:13:00.000-08:00

It’s been a while since I’ve shared any books with you on Busy Nothings, but don’t think that means I haven’t been reading! I’m in the middle of The Book Thief and I finished the third book in the Looking-Glass Wars series just before NaNoWriMo began. Currently, I’m reading The Beekeeper’s Apprentice, The Maze Runner, and an extraordinary novel written by… myself. Actually, it’s mediocre as it’s written. But it’s fabulous in my head!

Today I will be sharing Arch Enemy. This is the third book—and I believe the last—in the Looking-Glass Wars series. These stories tell the TRUE tale of Alyss, the young queen of Wonderland, and her quest to keep the throne away from her evil aunt, Redd, and the king of the Boarderlands, Arch. In the first book, The Looking-Glass Wars, Alyss witnesses her parents’ murder at the hand of Redd, the queen’s sister. Hatter Madigan, a cabinet member of the Heart family empire, takes Alyss away from the battle and through a portal to the real world, where she is adopted by the Liddell family in Oxford. Over the next few years, the Liddells convince Alyss (now Alice) that imagination is not real and she forgets all about her previous life.

Of course, her past cannot stay hidden for long and she is brought back to Wonderland as a young woman. She combines forces with the rebels in hiding—those true to the Hearts and White Imagination—and various battles ensue. I won’t tell you who wins, who loses, and how King Arch fits into all of it, but I will say that I enjoyed spending time in Wonderland. I LOVE the chemistry between Alyss—the leader of the people, Queen of imagination, and savior of creativity—and Dodge, the royal bodyguard. Frank Beddor really captures the intricacies of that kind of a relationship and the pull Alyss feels between her responsibility to her family and her people and the love she feels for her childhood friend.

A word of warning: this is the type of fantasy story that requires a map and glossary. Wonderland is a very defined geographical space and the peoples of the Boarderlands come into play in Arch Enemy. Similarly, Wonderland is run on Imagination; those blessed with Imagination can simply think something into existence. Therefore, Wonderland is filled with weapons, tools, food, etc. that do not exist in the real world. What the heck is a Spirit Dane? I still don’t know, but it denotes length. Just beware that this series will require a little bit of work on your part in order to keep the new terms straight. However, I simply gave up after the first hundred pages of book one and still managed to enjoy the story.

In a nutshell: These are great books if you have the time and inclination to conquer the fantasy aspect. The characters are very realistic and the idea is quite original. However, book three, Arch Enemy, is a little stilted and could easily have been combined with book two, Seeing Redd. In fact, I wonder if Beddor didn't just get sick of writing halfway through Arch Enemy and wrote the rest in his sleep. OVERALL--as a three-book story-- it was worthwhile.

Interesting tidbits: The author was on the US Olympic Skiing team AND produced There's Something About Mary. The LGW has been optioned for film and is in the pre-production phase. It will make an AWESOME movie as the story is very visual. I can't wait!

Here's a recent interview with Frank Beddor on Good Morning America

NaNoWriMo-- Reflections on a Month of Noveling

2009-12-01T10:27:00.000-08:00

It's December 1^st and I am now an official winner of NaNoWriMo. Technically, I finished my 50,000 words on Sunday night, but who's counting? As this adventure comes to a close, I feel the need to sort through the various emotions and events that have happened over the past 30 days.

The biggest change in my life is that I now consider myself a writer, albeit unpublished. I've never been one for creative writing; I always felt that the muses favored my sister, Kimberly, in that area. However, looking back on my life I realize I've actually always been interested in good stories-- both telling them and reading them. In middle school, I wrote a short story (Okay, it was more like a tele-novela, but whatever) and until this month I had completely forgotten about it. During high school, I made 1 ½ short films by commandeering my sister's friends for a week and bribing them with pizza and illusions of fame and fortune. In college, I majored in Film Production and actually wrote a short screenplay that I'm pretty proud of. So why is it that I never thought of myself as a writer before now?

The answer is, quite simply, that I never really gave it a shot. Short movies and screenplays, a poem here and there, do not a writer make. Nor, perhaps, does a 70,000 word novel. But the time and thought invested in that 70,000 word novel have irrevocably changed my thought processes, my behavior, and my life goals. I am--and always will be-- a writer. There's a very good chance I will never be able to make it my profession, that I will stand amongst the throng of would-bes and almost-weres and look at those who ARE with envy and awe. But that's not the point. One does not have to be published or have a three-book deal to be a writer. One simply needs to have the unrelenting desire to share thoughts, emotions, stories, characters, and ideas through the written word and possess the ability to do so coherently.

I've always wondered how authors came up with their ideas. Was it, as Mary Barrie (J.M.'s unfortunately-named wife) described in Finding Neverland, "some secret place where good ideas floated around like leaves in autumn," or did they people-watch all day long, or did they wake up with them?

For me, the idea came when I was in England in the summer of 2008. The creative juices were flowing, which was quite a new sensation for me, and I had written a poem at Chatsworth and some interesting journaling in London. On July 11, our group visited the town of Lacock (Chippenham), which is the home of Lacock Abbey (now, the Fox Talbot Museum). Standing on the path outside the abbey, surrounded by greenery and the almost palpable history of the place, I met a boy named James who lived at the abbey during WWII. He had quite a story to tell, and it was my job to write it down.

I found a bench, told my group of amazingly understanding travel companions to walk ahead without me, and wrote the basic outline of James’ story in my little black composition book. On the train a few days later, I wrote the first page. Over the next year, I struggled with the plot, wrestling with details and timelines, but didn’t get much actual prose on paper. By the time NaNoWriMo had begun, I had only 17,000 words written and a vague idea of where I was going to go with James. I now have 67,000 words and the general outline for two sequels.

NaNoWriMo taught me that it’s OK to write JUNK; junk can always become something better, but a blank page will always be a blank page. NaNoWriMo taught me that it is possible to write 1,700 words per day (or 3,357) while working and going to school. NaNoWriMo showed me that many of my friends and family are also harboring secret aspirations to be novelists; this camaraderie helped me to not be embarrassed by my dreams, but rather to embrace them. NaNoWriMo taught me that I actually LIKE writing, even under a deadline.

What next? I’m taking a short break from my novel (although the impulse to open the file and take a peek is sometimes almost overwhelming). In a week or so, I’ll read it. I might find a 67,000 word pile of junk. I might find 60,000 words of junk, and 7,000 mediocre words. Then I’ll revise, and revise, and revise. Meanwhile, I have more characters, like James, sitting in the back of my mind asking for their turn. Shannon Hale recently wrote, “Ideas are like viruses. I remember a time when I didn't think I would write a book because I just didn't have enough ideas. But once I started writing books, the ideas multiplied and multiplied. The more I write, the more ideas I have.”

I’m no Shannon Hale, but the ideas are indeed coming.

FYI: Word counts--

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: 76,944

Mrs. Dalloway: 64,218

The Scarlet Letter: 63,604

Percy Jackson and the Olympians--Lightning Thief: 86,826

A Rebuttal

2009-11-20T12:04:00.000-08:00

This post is in response to Laura's recent entry regarding the Vatican's vocal opposition to the New Moon movie.

Apparently, the Vatican finds issue with the "supernatural references" and believes the Twilight world is a "moral vacuum with a deviant message that should be of some concern." Laura did not cite her source, so I cannot verify that this is truly what the Vatican has said. However, I'd like to respond to these points anyway as I've seen them voiced from the religious opposition.

First, I always find it humorous when religious groups ban books or speak out against a cultural phenomenon on the basis of supernatural concerns. Have these people read the bible? You want supernatural, try the resurrection. Or a plague of locusts. Or creating a planet--complete with living organisms-- in 6 days. For religious groups to claim problems based on the idea that a story contains some magic is hopelessly hypocritical and narrow-minded. The simple existence of the supernatural does not an evil story make. In fact, CS Lewis created a magical world to retell the story of Christ.

Looking at New Moon (and the series as a whole): Yes, vampires exist. Yes, werewolves exist. Yes, Bella wonders aloud whether all the legends are true. But the existence of these creatures does not somehow negate the possibility of the religious supernatural. The theory posited in the text is that vampires do indeed have souls and, although Edward refuses to admit his acceptance of this fact, are not destined to go to Hell because of their "fallen" state. Indeed, the moral theme of the series is that it is our choices and actions that define us. We all have a tendency toward evil, just as the vampires thirst for human blood, but we can overcome this. If the Vatican finds fault with this idea, I'd sure like to know how.

Secondly, the Vatican also claims the series is morally deviant. Again, I would ask: how so? Does the Vatican disagree with the idea that couples should marry before becoming sexually intimate? Does the Vatican disagree with Bella's choice to protect her unborn child--even at the risk of her own life-- because she believed in the sanctity of human life? Maybe they disagree with the elevated status of the family unit that the Cullens project? Or the selflessness of the vegetarian vampires, or in Edward and Bella's relationship? Or maybe the Vatican frowns on platonic relationships that lead to living one's life in the service of another?

Oh wait! I think I've found it. Alice steals a car and Edward tries to commit suicide. Morally bankrupt characters, to be certain. I probably shouldn't mention that the car is returned to its rightful owner and that Edward's bid for death leads to MANY later conversations evaluating the emotional and moral consequences of such an action, thus teaching a lesson of sorts. No. Those vamps are just rotten to the core. Never trust someone who sparkles; they'll lead you into sin.

Pocket Edward in Provo

2009-11-10T18:30:00.000-08:00

This post ties to Laura's most recent post regarding our awesome weekend.

Laura was feeling slightly homesick so I went to visit her this past weekend. It was really fun for me to go somewhere else for a few days too, so win-win. Here's how we spent our weekend:

Friday: Walk to Provo Temple from Laura's house. Uphill, both ways. But it was worth it to see all the little missionaries going to and from the temple in their cutesy little suits. Here we are in front of the temple. Yes, I know you can't see the actual temple in this one. It's hard to take a picture of yourself with an iPhone. Trust me. That's where we were.

Then we did some shopping at the biggest Target known to man. See Edward Shop.

The shopping was followed by Poseidon-worthy lobster bisque soup at Zuppa's (paninis were... OK. Those Utes need to learn how to cook cheese). And no night on the town would be complete without a screening of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Yes, I cried again. But not as much as I did the first time. The problem is that Dumbledore still SPOILER ALERT dies. Every flipping time! Gah!

The next day was a literary day. We walked to the Provo Library...

Then we went to the AMAZING Salt Lake City Library. See Edward be literary:

But on the way, due to stupid iPhone navigation systems, we ended up taking a lovely detour to the capitol building. See Edward be a statesman:

Then we went to my favorite bookstore of all time (I am currently concocting a plan to hide out in a dark corner until the store closes and then spend the entire night dancing with the books), The King's English. We found Kaleb's book (signed!) and, of course, Edward's favorite.

The King's English is hosting a signing/reading with Audrey Niffenegger in January and I am hoping to attend. She's promoting her new book, Her Fearful Symmetry.

That night, we went to the most ghetto-fabulous clearance center on the planet and scored five dresses and a blouse for--that's right-- $29 total. After RUSHING through dinner (stupid iPhone GPS...) we got to see a fabulous production of Curtains, which we had already seen on its pre-Broadway run at the Ahmanson. It's a really fun show and I highly recommend it.

And that was our weekend. A fantastic use of our time, if I do say so myself. I am also happy to report that I stayed on track with NaNoWriMo (As you can see from the sidebar). The noble experiment is still going strong and I am looking forward to spending the day off tomorrow on hiking up that word count before the crazy week coming up.

Thanks for a fantastic weekend, Laura! Let's make it a tradition!

My middle-school self

2009-11-02T17:28:00.000-08:00

I came home today to find a small paper bag on our doorstep with a note on it:

Benning Family,
We found this in the closet when we worked the back room-- about two years ago.
Best regards,
The Family who moved into our old house (They actually wrote their name, but you don't need to know it)

Inside the bag was my wallet from middle school! How crazy is that!? It still had my Nobel Middle School ID card, some church stuff, bank statements, my old ATM card, change, and 2 tokens for the bowling alley.

As surreal as the experience of opening that wallet was, it got me thinking about my middle school self. If Middle School Ashley-- right in the middle of the bad haircuts and braces phase-- could see what she would become, what would she think? Would she be happy with the way her life has turned out so far? Would she desperately try to change the future? Would she give up in some areas?

From what I remember, Middle School Ashley was convinced she would be married with kids by 25 and would be living in her own house (much like the house my wallet so recently called home). Middle School Ashley thought she would be super-popular in high school because she was going to be a cheerleader. Middle School Ashley was also quite adept at math and loved reading. When she grew up, Middle School Ashley was going to be either an OB/GYN, the president, or an astronaut.

Real Ashley took a quite different path. But is that a bad thing? True, I frequently lament the fact that I'm not married or attached to a supreme hottie and perhaps I wouldn't be so stressed all the time if I really had chosen the doctor or astronaut route and made more money.

But guess what, Middle School Ashley: being a cheerleader doesn't automatically make you popular; for almost 10 years, you are going to forget that you actually enjoy math; you will find so many things you enjoy doing in life that you will find it difficult to settle on a career; and you will be living with your parents, blogging about your thoughts to no one in particular, at age 25. No kids. No husband. No house. No money.

Does this mean I am unhappy? No. I am somewhat unsettled and just a tad disatisfied with small parts of my life, but I am overall very happy with the way my life has turned out. I didn't go to medical school, but I found a new passion in film. I didn't find a pathway to the White House, but my dad is running for Congress. I'm not married and I don't have kids, but I've spent the last several years traveling and participating in adventures that I probably would not have been able to do had I started a family. I am writing a novel. I am finishing my second post-graduate degree program. I have spoken at a conference about a book I love. I am SCUBA certified. I have flown an airplane. I conquered living alone in a new state.

Middle School Ashley, life will not turn out the way you planned. But perhaps that's for the best. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. It only gets better from there.

THE TWILIGHT QUILT

2009-10-28T19:57:00.000-07:00

As some of you already know, I have been working on a Twilight quilt for the past several (read 10) months. I have never before made a quilt. In fact, I used to find the idea a little too old-lady-in-a-rocker for my tastes. I also HATED the tied quilts I used to see made at church functions. I mean, who wants little pieces of fuzz poking out of their blanket? It's just plain wrong.

BUT... back in December I stumbled across a chance to make my own Twilight Mystery Quilt. A quilt shop owner in another state was sponsoring the mystery quilt and would be sending bi-weekly instructions for creating new blocks. By the end of 3-4 months, I would have a hand-made-by-me quilt! But alas, it was not to be. The quilt mastermind ended up going through some serious family troubles toward the end of the noble experiment and basically dropped the project. Thus, I was left with a semi-conceptualized, semi-completed, amateur attempt at what had promised to be the textile equivalent of my love affair with the Twilight series.

I gave up.

But two weeks ago, I decided that I am not a quitter. I am a quilter. So, I summoned all my geometric genius and created five additional quilt blocks, assembled my masterpiece, and am now the proud owner of a partially-original and fully literary quilt. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you THE TWILIGHT QUILT:

The great thing about literature--and indeed all types of storytelling-- is that each reader is allowed to interpret the symbols for him or herself. The author may point you in a certain direction, but inevitably your experience with the story will be entirely unique. Therefore, I will simply tell you how I interpret these blocks. You may see something completely different. I hope you will share your thoughts!

The blocks I created are indicated by *:
Top Row-- Twilight Book Cover*, Jacob Surrounded by Edward (trapped and eclipsed by his diamond-y splendor), New Moon Book Cover*
Middle Row-- Three Hearts* (open for interpretation, but could be Bella's full heart, Bella's broken heart, and the diamond heart Edward gave to her), Where Bella Rests Her Head (one house each for Swans, Cullens, Blacks, and a certain cottage in a forest...), Tree (not my favorite block, but interesting nonetheless)
Bottom Row--Breaking Dawn Cover*, Moon Phases, Eclipse Cover*

Here are some detailed pics:

CONCLUSION: Well, I'm now totally hooked on quilting. I loved creating my own blocks (each one took about three hours, but I think I got faster toward the end) and the simple act of cutting fabric and piecing it together was entirely too soothing to be legal. I can't wait to start on my next quilt. I think it's going to be some sort of star pattern and will include the scraps from this quilt and some new material. Hooray for new hobbies!

I want...

2009-10-22T21:27:00.000-07:00

Step aside eReader; get back in line, Kindle;

the Nook is coming!

As you have probably guessed, I am not one for electronic books as a general rule. I think books are meant to be held and written in and smelled, etc. HOWEVER, when I got my weekly Barnes and Noble email I was intrigued to find an advert for a new electronic reading device. Unlike the Kindle and the Sony eReader, the Nook has a color screen that operates similar to an iPhone.

Selling points for me:
1. Nook has the capability to lend books to friends for two weeks at a time. They are automatically returned to you. Sweet!
2. Offers over 1 million books, many for $9.99
3. You can write notes and highlight.
4. Notations and bookmarks are synced with your other devices (laptop, iPhone, Blackberry, etc.).
5. With additional memory; the Nook can hold up to 17,500 books.
6. Uses both 3G and WiFi
7. Turn on your Nook in any Barnes and Noble store and get access to exclusive discounts.
8. Not sure if you want a certain book? Nook offers a few pages of preview for free; if you are in a Barnes and Noble store, you get the whole book FOR FREE!
9. Go to the Daily section to get access to daily articles from sources YOU CHOOSE.
10. Color touchscreen.
11. Extremely cute covers. Need I say more?

So, I'm not giving up on my paper books, but it would be great to have a digital option for trips, taking to work, etc. Confused by all the choices? Here's a product comparison sheet for Nook vs. Kindle and here are the Nook tech specs. And, in case you still can't decide, here's an article from Wired: 5 Things that Make Us Want Barnes and Noble's EReader (note: they are wrong about the WiFi; Barnes and Noble has since cleared that up).

A writing update and how you can help:

2009-10-06T20:17:00.000-07:00

Last post, I set a few goals for myself in preparation for NaNoWriMo in November. Here’s an update:

--I bought and read No Plot, No Problem (which opened up a whole new can of worms. See below.)

-- I’ve started scouting locations, but haven’t found any sure-fire winners yet. I’m leaning toward the café at the Barnes and Noble in the Commons and Corner Bakery, but I still need to check out the Woodland Hills library and other local spots.

--I’ve also started looking for pep talks, but definitely need to work on that more.

-- I figured out my school schedule.

According to No Plot, No Problem, I need to do the following over the next month:

--For one week, log my time and how it is spent. Then, I need to find out which activities I can eradicate for 30 days without getting expelled, losing my job, or ending up in a hospital.

-- Prepare my writing room with all the tools I need for a successful writing experience (this includes cleaning and organizing my desk, buying lots of my favorite pens, creating an area for visually organizing my thoughts, etc.).

-- Create a writing playlist.

-- One week (that’s all I’m allowed) of research. For my novel, this will be research on WWII and England. Yep. I just revealed a little about my book. *GASP*

Here’s what No Plot, No Problem says about you, my support group: “Everyone loves helping the underdog triumph against insurmountable odds. Talk to your best friends about all the obligations and chores you’ll be juggling while you write, and have them brainstorm possible solutions and time-savers…Gentle encouragement from your friends and family, however, is just the start. Warm smiles and you-can-do-it emails won’t help you keep your butt in the chair when you’re ready to give up in the middle of week two.” Baty then writes that you can use bragging as a tool for self-motivation. If I brag enough about what I’m trying to accomplish (that is, writing a novel in 30 days), I’ll be so motivated by fear of being proven wrong and hurting my pride that I will be forced to finish my novel even against my will. So, here goes:

“Everyone, I am so amazingly awesome that I can write a whole novel in one month. Don’t believe me? Well, I’ll prove you wrong come November. You’ll see. Maybe I’ll drive by your houses and throw copies of the manuscripts at your windows when I’m done. That’s how certain I am that I’ll write 50,000 words in 30 days. Ha! Oh, ye of little faith.”

The NaNoWriMo store sells little merit badge buttons that you can earn during the month if you meet a specific challenge (secretly noveling while at work, experiencing a 5000 word day, etc.). You buy them ahead of time and I guess they come with instructions on earning them. I’m thinking of doing that to add a little spice to the writing process. However, I am worried I will be asked to do things that will hurt my story. Maybe I should make up my own merit badges? Thoughts? Also, is there anything I’m forgetting to do to prepare? Do you have any advice? If you have time, I could really use links to author pep talks, ideas for my own merit badges, ideas for keyboard friendly snack, favorite writing/reading spots, and good motivational techniques. Thanks!